Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Papodiles of Awz

Papists!  We all Hate 'Em.  Amiright?


I'll say again that the spirit of the Baum Oz books ought to, by rights, pervade all our DnD'ing.  So the kicker is that we needed some stuff for a nasty Oz-flavored thing in which to express our IT GETS WORSE motif.  It was good times.

+Evan Lindsey and +Bryan Mullins as Billy Buttons the Blunderbussing 10-year old, and Ransom Calabash, a inexpertly glued together victim of the 1000-yards of Verdun.  He went starkers as a melodic spell was cast at him and literally fell to pieces and was pitched off a cliff.

1) Howell, the Tattered Woggle Bug Sangrita Blast Salesman
2) a Half Dozen Minus One Irritable Kalidahs
3) Miss Petunia, the Buff Orpington Photographer
4) The Black Carniv'rous Heliotrope
5) Whistler, the Shrunken Apple Headed King of the Western Orchard Lands

A thing which the Internet gave us but which sadly we could not use owing to time constraints and the limitations of my frail human frame was the above, the Papodiles.  Behold, their Toothy Mitermaws!  Their babbling Proselyzations (SAN damage) and in other systems we determined that you can take damage depending upon your alignment, but I was thinking that if (for example) your SAN or your Willpower ran out, then of course you'd be Catholic and convert and just go on your merry way to play out whatever Catholicism means to you.  Not as a spiteful thing, mind you, but in the spirit of the times of Baum and Nast (so like maybe a little spiteful since they weren't enlighten'd then as we are, now).

I'm going to say in the interests of hot social commentary that these Ravenous Beasts are amphibian, Lawful Evil, and they horde gold and unread bibles at the bottom of their murky lairs, and they especially love to prey upon the poor, the young, the winsome, and that all three qualities in a single individual (e.g. Master Buttons, above) draws them as a moth to the proverbial thing-which-yeah.

I don't know, 4HD or something, 3 x bite (1d8), droning preaching (DC 15 Save or stop and listen closely, then a DC 15 Save or switch to Catholicism/Law OR take metaphysical damage each round, with +1D damage for non-Lawful characters)

in Into the Odd, pretty easy to stat out.  15 HP, 2 Armor, the attacks are pretty straightforward as 1d6 or 1d12 if the victim is forced to listen to the spiel.  A failed save means the victim takes (in our little game tonight) 1d8 SAN damage in addition to HP loss when the droning, Latinate chanting begins.

RRAAAAARRRGHLAAG PLEASE TURN TO GOSPEL OF ST ROCH CHAPTER 4 VERSE 73, AND LO, JUDAS ISCARIOT WENT UNTO ANTIOCH AND MADE WAR UPON THE DAUGHTERS CHOMP CHOMP WAGNAGHL OF NAPTHALENE AND YEA VERILY BLAH BLAH BLAH IN NOMINE PATRI ET SPIRITU BAALZEBOOOV FEAR NOT FOR THE END IS NIGH AND REPENT REPENT REPENT GIVE UNTO US WHAT IS CAESAR'S AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH SNICKERSNACK

And with the firey eyes and the chomping of glistening golden vorpal miter-teeth and then you are dragged below to do penance and never receive charity

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