Monday, September 9, 2019


A #wip DCC-flavored bleak toy for Overworked and Underpaid (maybe a zine I will publish later if I feel cute, IDK, maybe I will smash the bourgeoisie insert cute selfie)

This was inspired, if I recall right, by the HBO series Chernobyl where a crew of misfits goes out to shoot irradiated dogs. That's the tone I wished to capture, but more, uh, humor, I guess.

(remember, a work in progress)

Welcome to Corpse-O-Mat, a subsidiary of DunjonCorp!

You’re one of the survivors of the BZ pandemic. That’s good! You are very likely to be immune to the old strains of BZ – even though new strains pop up all the time. Flipside: money is very tight now and you have few marketable skills. And your landlord still expects rent. And you still need to buy groceries. And you could use some dental work. Luckily, the Corpse-O-Mat recruiters came through last month and signed you up for an entry-level Hygiene and Recovery Technician position, Class I. You got some great, but brief, training in Self Defense and Introductory Ballistics and they provided you with a Biosuit and some Chunky Boots. Now, your on-the-job training begins!

You’ve no need to worry about tedious tasks like driving: your Corpse-Truck is automated and knows where to go. Should your Corpse-Truck meet its Minimum Required Daily Capacity, it will query the database for other interesting tasks for you to fulfill, or else randomly search for likely sites where corpses may be collected. If you spot a possible source of valuable loot, petition the system to Stop and Search, and if the search is fruitful and you survive, you could earn a valuable bonus*! Load the corpses and parts of corpses into the Corpse-O-Mat truck as directed, and you’ll be literally paid by the pound!

Let’s see what other valuable supplies you were provided with:

If your Strength is higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat Edifice Entry Tool (a Crowbar that does 1d6 damage)
If your Intelligence is higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat Decomposition Byproduct Detector (detects methane from bodies the way a Dwarf detects gold)
If your Agility is higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat Vertical Surface Scaling Grapnel (a Rope and Hook)
If your Stamina is higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat Concussive Force Delivery System (a Sledge Hammer that does d8 damage)
If your Personality is higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat Vocal Enhancement Device (a Megaphone, useful for contacting non-BZ surviving locals) OR 1d20 Corpse-O-Mat Shiny Baubles (player chooses)
If your Strength AND Stamina are both higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat All-Terrain Corpse Recovery Vehicle (a Wheelbarrow)
If your Intelligence AND Agility are both higher than 14: A Corpse-O-Mat Wound and Infection Remediator (a pneumatic syringe that will cure 1d8 points of damage OR Cure Disease, 1d4-1 times i.e. it might be useless)

Remember that owing to high demand for repairs and low availability of Repair Technicians, these great tools may incur fumbles, breakage, or other humorous events at roughly 300% of the usual rate (or 1-3 on a d20 for any Action Die rolled involving the gear). Keep in mind that loss or damage of these items will incur significant Wage Penalties if they are not returned to the Corpse-O-Mat Truck at the end of the shift. And remember: Corpse-O-Mat is a Right-to-Work Employer, and your Enthusiastic Labor is always at our discretion. You may bring 1 Significant Item with you besides the provided gear, but more than this might disturb the truck’s sensitive internal mass detectors and reduce the efficiency of the Corpse-O-Mat.

When the Work Shift begins, your Corpse-O-Mat Truck AI will alert you to current poundage requirements, the expected weather and conditions, and any other significant alerts. Roll below to determine which conditions obtain:

Minimal Poundage requirements determined by 1d20x1d100 in pounds. Assume Whole Corpses weigh 150 pounds, and Partials weigh 50 pounds. Bits and bobs of charnel grue will be good for 1d20 pounds each.

1d10 Conditions/Effects on play:

1.     Acid Rain: Don’t worry! Your Biosuit will likely prevent most damage, but if it is punctured or breached, then you will take 1 point of damage per turn of exposure.

2.    Heavy Smog: Don’t worry! Your Biosuit will prevent inhalation injuries, but all attack actions and Reflex saves by PCs will incur a -1d penalty. In the unlikely event you take off your trusty Biosuit, make a Fortitude save every turn at DC14 or take 2 points of damage.

3.    Predatory Leach Swarms: Don’t worry! Your Biosuit will prevent most damage from the leeches’ weak chitinous teeth, i.e. the first 2 points. All random encounters have a 50% chance of being 1d4 Big Leeches.

4.    Psychick Lightning:

5.    Phlogiston Interruption:

6.    Mutanoid Incursion:

7.    Synthetic-Person Unrest:

8.    Effluent Overflow:

9.    Nine – Mostly cloudy. Double the chance of Random Encounters

10. Ten – Mostly sunny. Incur a +1 Bonus to Luck for all work-related tasks (not personal ones)

more later as it progresses
peace and love to you
don't monetize your hobby, yo

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