Monday, February 3, 2014

The Iron Ration, Magic Cheese, and Hardtack Adventure Cooking

(I'm too self-important to take part in the various blog roll things, so here's something I finagled whilst my daughter rejected my mango-based overtures and then fell asleep on my chest)

Disclosure: In my previous multiclass advancements, my career was "cook", and although I don't cook professionally anymore I still dig food scholarship.  I'm the exact opposite of a "foodie", though.  I like to know a lot about cooking but my favorite foods are ones that other people cook.  I just had to destroy my entire kitchen pantry owing to infestation by either Oat Beetles or Flour Mites, or maybe gremlins, so I am thinking of food value and preservation against spoilage, lately.  Coincidentally, exploration in the Iron Canyons of +Dave Younce and play in +Evan Lindsey 's entry to the ASE got me thinking about what to eat and when, when you are hacking and slashing in your favorite fantasy world.  Frodo and Sam had Lembas, and Gollum had fish raw-and-wriggling but,
These are actual pictures of the bugs in my kitchen pantry
What does a party of murderhobos (STOUTFELLAS?) eat if they are going to spend the night in the deep, dark damp of a megadungeon?  Why, the classic Iron Ration, of course!  But what the heck is an Iron Ration?  I vaguely remember that this question used to course like Greek Fire through the letter pages of Dragon when I was a kid and I am sure it put an end to many friendships.  Not mine, my ended friendships were usually over politics or girls or magic shields.

finished polishing their pickelhaubs, the kaiser's men repose

I may be giving out misinfo, here, but it looks like the Iron Ration was an actual steel or tin can, sometimes full of cakes of beef-paste-enhanced wheat paste, and maybe a couple of cigarettes and a chocolate bar.  A brick of dehydrated super-dense bread was common, too.  As a bonus, in earlier days you could have opted to boil your hardtack in your coffee, and either kept the maggots that floated out and eaten them or discarded them - as you prefer.  As a bonus bonus, if you have intestinal parasites, eating a couple of cigarettes might stun them long enough for you to expel them the old fashioned way without recourse to a cleric.  Ahh, the things you learn on historical tours and via your collection of Army Survival Training guides.

Many of the historical cooking links for the ancient world and middle and ye darke ages have vanished like tears in the rain, but there are good ones every so often.  Thanks to the black hole of Wikipedia for the following:

This here for the distinctly American horror story of famine and failed logistics during a very trying period.  Bonus words:

  1. Skillygallee - fry your wet brick of wheat paste in some bacon fat, soldier!
  2. Coosh - the same, except it's like cornmeal mush and beef jerky hash
  3. the X-ration? - mentioned in the military annals but my attention span falters and I can only assume it was reserved for supersoldiers

Roman Soldiers carried their own mess kits AND rations

I was gonna put up a Hardtack recipe, or maybe a Lembas recipe, but you don't want to eat any of that stuff, real or imagined.

Whoops!  I didn't realize this was gauche
I hate elves.  Did I mention this?

Instead, you are geased to try these links for much cheese-based magical eatery and Wampus Country cheese magic and of course a bevy of magical ingredients for your consumption

(BTW I purchased the PDF of the Anomalous Subsurface Environment at lulu.com - good stuff, and for bonus points get you the Obelisk of Forgotten Memory which is also great... going to need to wait for ASE2, though)

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Even More Unique Undead!

If you prefer to have your tables in NOT .pdf downloadable form, this is the follow up to my BARROWMAZE post yesterday.  I've used many of these in the DCC Barrowmaze campaign I ran last year.  With normal undead varieties, these Unique additions, and the 'masks' rules from BM2, a nearly infinite world of awfulness is well within easy reach.

LET THE SLAUGHTER COMMENCE

Expanded Unique Undead Tables
D100
Noah Stevens
For the original 20 entries, see DCC rulebook 381


1 Energy-draining touch (ability score damage; Will save resists)
2 Level-draining touch (lose XP; Will save resists)
3 Searing gaze (1d6 damage with a look)
4 Touch of cold (1d4 damage; immune to fire spells)
5 Chill aura (all within 100’ take 1d4 damage; immune to fire spells)
6 Blood drain (causes 1d4 damage + 1 Stamina point each round)
7 Flight/Levitation
8 Transformation (rat, cat, bat, wolf, worm; or mist, dust, spirit; etc.)
9 Extraordinary strength (Strength 22+)
10 Swift (2 actions per round)
11 Slow (1 action every 2 rounds)
12 Immune to non-magical weapons
13 Immune to non-silvered weapons
14 Resistant to spells (50% chance of any spell not affecting it)
15 Cannot be killed without special ritual (stake through heart, exorcism, destruction of phylactery, form burned in fire,
etc.)
16 Paralysis with touch (Will save to resist)
17 Translucent/transparent/invisible
18 Issues a curse with every strike (see Appendix C of DCC book or some other source)
19 Casts spells as wizard of level 1d4+1
20 Continues to worship a dark god in undeath; casts spells as cleric of level 1d4+1; can turn living/lawful/good as a
cleric turns unholy
21 Embalmed in oil and rags, and susceptible to flame - takes 1d10 extra points of fire damage on strikes
22 Infested with vermin, and upon destruction 1d6 leap out to attack for 1 HP damage each
23 Enchanted with pyromantic runes and explodes upon destruction for 1d8 damage to all within 10 feet
24 Semi-ethereal, increasing AC by 1d10, determined at the start of each round
25 Necromantic backlash when struck, causing 1d6 points of damage to attacker (save for no damage)
26 Accompanied by haunted music, Will save at –(1d6) or PCs and NPCs charmed for 3 rounds
27 Stealthy, always has surprise (free actions first round)
28 Spider-climb
29 Spreads disease on strike, Fortitude save to resist
30 A Foule Stenche - Aura of disease within 10 feet, Fortitude save +3 to resist
31 Black Bilious Humours – weapons that strike it become stuck
32 Cloud of Flies – distracts foes in combat, no spells with somatic or verbal components may be cast
33 Revenant – attracted to one particular PC/NPC (a murderer?) and will attack no others
34 Sleep of ages – each strike on it causes the character to age a year
35 Weak necromancy – has only 1 HP before dissipating the material form
36 Compelled to count items – when faced with e.g. caltrops or pins, will stop attacks for 1d8 rounds
37 Crawling horde – when destroyed, summons or conjures 1d3-1 more of the same
38 Knitted flesh and wired bone – any individuals encountered are actually a single colossal individual
39 They Hunger – will attack wounded first, and pause to feed on the dead
40 Mouldy – each strike showers the attacker in spores for a Fortitude save or acquire Lung Rot
41 Melancholic humours – each strike, PCs must make a Will save or lose the next round out of sadness
42 Packed with sawdust – coins and other small items found inside and low value treasure spills out when struck
43 Send More Paramedics! – as intelligent in death as they were in life
44 Failing enchantment – lose 1d4 HP per round but healed full amount of damage by any spell effects
45 Jealous – will not stray from the treasure it guards/was interred with
46 Strong runic soulbinding – Maximum possible HP, discernible enchantment warning
47 Unnerving laughter – Will save or lose action this round, attackers
48 Hades’ Glamour – killed or incapacitated characters spirited away to the Court of the Dead
49 Milling about – will not chase, but will attack first any who attack them
50 Grandma, NO! – Related to a randomly determined character or NPC party member, that character must make
Will save to attack
51 Incorporeal in light, but attackable in darkness
52 Autumnal Shroud – attended by a cloud of dead leaves that strike at players every other round for 1d6 (Reflex save
for no damage)
53 Book- or Scroll-bound – priceless texts attached to them via string/nails/wire/glue
54 Slightly mechanized – tick tock gives the approach away (no surprise) but add another HD and an orichalcum gear
at the heart
55 Steam driven – a steam mephit is bottled inside the abdomen and this animates the corpse
56 Dusty – a dust mephit resides in the corpse’s head and any hits cause blindness/choking
57 Sanguine humors – bloody mess (any hits on PCs or by PCs cause a intense splash of gore that wrecks the future
reaction checks of intelligent creatures until cleaned)
58 Phlegmatic humors – spits a gob of ethereal slime that drains level/XP/lowers action dice
59 Choleric humors – sucks the moisture out of everything nearby – hits from undead desiccate PCs for extra 1d6
damage and thirst
60 Elemental-ridden – also enchanted with some weak elemental and cannot be turned, no damage from that attack
type
61 Demon-plagued – a demon/devil resides within and it cannot be turned, is semi-intelligent and will bargain for
release
62 Teleporter – teleports struck PCs d100 feet in random direction, or else whole party
63 Insidious designs – paralysis/invisibility on struck characters
64 Convincing Argument – charms all struck characters, or all characters within 20 feet who hear the whispers
65 Death is but a Doorway – upon being put down, a portal to the Ethereal/Astral/Negative/Dread plane opens
66 Time-limited – at Midnight or 3AM, vanishes/clatters to ground
67 Scurrilous – gains +20” to move, spider climbs, digs at 20” through loose earth
68 Serially connected – each “death” of the group reduces the HD of the next member by 1 (total HD equal to number
appearing)
69 The words of a random 1d5 level spell are inscribed on the skull/skin/robes in permanent ink
70 Biological matrix – animated by non-necromantic forces (e.g. colonization by vines/tendrils)
71 Palldium coated – reflects spells cast at it to nearest attacker
72 Johnny Shearsfingers - +1d6 attacks per round of wicked blades
73 Rawhide and Bloody – hidden in darkness, no chance for spotting, loves stairwells and cupboards
74 Gateframe – ribcage/arms/skull/whatever allows extradimensional incursions from outsiders
75 Berserk - +1d6-3 attacks per round at +1d10-3 to hit (re-roll each round)
76 Glowing menace – radiates powerful mutagenic forces, exposure for more than 3 rounds causes minor corruptions
77 Davy Jones – seeks to drag grappled foes into the water
78 Cold embrace – on successful claw+claw hit, massive temporary massive loss of Strength (down by half)
79 Fluxed – when destroyed, arises again 1d6 times each time at ½ HP
80 Thundercrack deafens characters within 100’ when it is destroyed/put down
81 Lost flock – adds +2 levels to cleric’s calculated level when turning
82 Weary – will not attack but begs for release (other effects may apply at DM’s discretion)
83 Unreasonable Atheists – only turnable by Neutral clerics
84 Dishonored – no chance of turning by Good or Neutral clerics, but may be turned by Warriors of
Strength/Stamina/Personality 15 or higher
85 Beloved – the villagers have been looking for this one
86 Actually a “probe” of some powerful Patron – destruction will cause wrath but can be conversed with as mouthpiece
87 Chamomile and Valerian – surrounded by herbal fog of sleep, Will Save at 1d20 or slumber, make save = dazed 1st
round
88 Fey hatred – preferentially attacks elves/those bonded to Elf King
89 Against the natural order – walks on ceilings/through walls/turning makes it stronger
90 Bad harmonics – Usually incorporeal undead are corporeal and mostly helpless; corporeal undead wink in and out
of Material Plane every other round
91 Truth of the Grave – will answer questions put to it (roll 1d6: 1-3 honest, 4-6 malicious lies)
92 Suggestible – will follow orders from randomly aligned characters
93 Floaters – on successful claw/claw attack will float away with character at 20’ up per round
94 Free roaming - +1d100 Hit Points, no chance of turning (1 individual only!)
95 Friendly, talkative
96 Mostly dead – in the process of total revivification and will finish in 1d10 turns
97 Tickly – will not damage but only cause struck characters to laugh as per Tasha’s Uncontrollable Hideous-type
98 Ticklish – will only laugh when struck (no apparent damage); Will or Fear save at DC 14
99 Almost there – maximum HP, minus 1 – no chance of turning except with Luck burn
100 Spitefully unfinished – this space intentionally left blank, roll again thrice

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