Asskickers of the Universe for SWN/Other Dust

I guess my French Canadian comrade in fatherness +Vincent Quigley is ramping up for the certain Marvel thing which I will not name but anyways it's called Guardians of the Galaxy and I'm sure Marvel doesn't mind free press and excitement.  He's got a (kind of exciting) plan to run some space-games.  Strange, I'm doing space games lately and there's Crawljammer and CUaBM and certain appeal for high space adventure.

These characters may or may not ever get used in play, but they were fun to think of, especially when Jo the Synthoid was falling through space forever, handy Vacuum Shield out front and towing Sexynth Stasis Capsules full of lurid fungoid and elfin life-forms behind him, pondering the nature of the soul, free will, and where to find his load of garbage and complete his Special Purpose.

Used without Daniel Fairbairn's permission, but maybe I can get a shirt on payday to make up for it.

Here you go, my Asskickers of the Universe:

 

#AssKickersoftheUniverse 

Aarona Vesk, Leader of the Myconite Diaspora and 3rd Prophet of the Fungomid Empire

Str 13,Int 7,Wis 13,Dex 10,Con 8,Cha 16
Speaker, Hermit, Prophet
2 Logic Grenades, Vaac Suit

Her low Int and high Charisma often bring on trouble - comely and an excellent public speaker but generally dim and uncreative after a life of sybaritic luxury.  Thanks to her amorphous fungoid composition (roughly in the alluring bipedal shape that is recognized as "attractive" in this arm of the Galazy), Aarona is endowed with QUICK HEALING and can subsist on oxygen and sunlight.  Her lurid mauve color changes to a nasty streaked red when she is angry or pouting.  A little bit of a stereotype, but her powers of persuasion are unmistakable, and she may grow to command hordes of sentient life if not dissuaded from this disastrous course.

Lord Nimble Nels, Elfin Psychic Researcher of Aereth483

Psychic (Telepathy), Noble, Psychic Researcher
Str 7, Int 13, Wis 14, Dex 13, Con 12, Cha 12

Berserk drugs, Spook drugs, Mindblade (not yet activated)

Nels accompanies Vesk everywhere she goes, and believes himself to be her social equal owing to dubious royal lineage and "magickal" abilities.  He has a crude robotic third arm, a holdout cavity in his chest where a heart would be (pumping made up for by many smaller distributed liquid micromotors), and a strange and mostly inert precursor artefact, the Krovarion Blade (actually a mindblade that Nels cannot yet fully utilise).  He often uses mind-numbing drugs to quell his painfully powerful EMPATHY, and it may be these he stows in his empty heart-space.  He may be attracted to Vesk because of her physical charms, her spritely optimism, or some combination of self-defeatism and psychic residue.  A bit of a fop.

Jo Sugru, Trash Scow Operating Synthoid Lifeform

Survivor, Transport Specialist (Trash Scow), "Man" With No Name

Str 15, Int 13, Wis 11, Dex 9, Con 14, Cha 8

Combat/Assault Shield.  Pummeling pipe (improvised)

Actually the most capable of the trio, Jo (a playful nickname bestowed by Nels) is regarded by the other self-absorbed two as something of a pet.  He is an artificially created life-form, pliant and agreeable, totally immune to the cold and void of space, and able to work his will on machines that he can touch.  He identifies as a he.  Since he was spit out by a fabrication unit to collect space junk and return it to the factory that made him, he has had no end of trouble brought upon him by Nels and Vesk, who crashed into his collecting scow and diverted its course to the nearby Ughilline system, thereby bringing about the Dorpsillon Incident and requiring the psychic decontamination of an entire population of (usually complacent) protein squibs.  That said, he generally does his best to protect his erstwhile friends, even going so far as to tow them through space in stasis orbs for a thousand Earth years, his Arc Shield foremost to protect from superfast particles and debris.

These three are wanted in the nearby galaxy of Urghilline IV, since Nels' "acquisition" of the Krovarion Blade could actually prompt Vesk's rise to the throne in that system by virtue of a long-lost prophecy which neither are aware of (Jo is aware of it but the subject has not yet come up).  They are hunted by the hideous Black Gargoyles of Leptron 4, treacherous minions of the Cult of Nebrovolent of Ixia who will do all they can to recover the precursor telepath blade

Anyways, I'm off for bed.  Jo's hat says "Keep On Truckin'"

the Clockwork Head of Genbo Gashodokuro

(Entry into Joey Lindsey's nefarious contest, or not, if the time is up)

The souls of all naughty children go to the bottom of the well.  Yes, all of them.

It came to pass that in the Village of ____ a villainous man, said to be a sorcerer, confined his soul and evil intent in a finely crafted clockwork skull and buried himself away next to a shrine of his foul God N____.  This was in the Age of Heroes. One day a well was sunk in my grandda's time and the water there was found to be sour and unhealthy.  Many children in the village went missing but it were said they could be heard cavorting at the bottom of the well, dancing and giggling, and the rattling of a baby's rattle also (although it was said only older children disappeared)...

The augurs said it were ill and the fishing dried up anyhow, so the village has fallen into hard hard times and only the most thirsty and unwise go there in the light of the moon.

1) the trail from the village leads to a miserable clearing with sick looking crickets by day, and twisted willows and scrawny elms at night. By the light of the moon, a fog rises and the characters are in danger of having Gen-bo the Gashodokoro himself arise to bite their heads off playfully and without warning (any random encounter roll in this area will be Gen-bo automatically).

2) the well is slimy and foul smelling and rarely used even in emergency - the rotten rope may break in a bad moment

3) the Clockwork Head and the Children - the Clockwork head glitters in the moonlight and cannot be found during the day. If it is picked up, the children will rise and begin to dance in the light from above, headless...

...If given the head, one child-spirit will wind it and tell a plaintive tale and ask to be taken and laid to rest:

Piggy is hungry and will beg for food and - only in the full light of the moon, and above ground - attempt to nibble on the PC that carried him up the rope unless given sweets (rations will only awaken his appetite and not put it down)

Polly/Molly loves to dance - she will dance a little jig and whisper sweet nothings in the PC's ear as they climb. Any tickled characters must dance unless they save vs reflex/will

Rocko loves to fight and will grapple and choke a character that saves him before collapsing in a pile of bones and sawdust.  He gives noogies if grappling for 2 damage per round, and a Fortitude save will break the hold

There is only one head, and only one child can be saved at a time. After the first is saved, the head will stay behind while the spirit of the child goes to the 7th nirvana for reincarnation. The body will vanish with chilling laughter and crickets or shuddering of elms and fireflies.  The other remaining children will wander down into the lower rooms at random.

...Of course Gen-bo will come to claim his head if/when all three are rescued, with the chance equal to twice the number of kids already saved on a d6.

The statue of Nebrovolent presides over the resting place of Gen-bo, moudlering and headless. A winding key is found clutched in his nasty desiccated hands. If the body is disturbed in any way, The Hungry Giant Skeleton Ghost of Gen-bo comes to bite off someone's head and reprimand them sternly. After the first child is saved, the head must be rewound for the children to talk or cooperate further.  Else, they will gesture and tickle or dance or grapple as described.

Molly/Polly always has a winder on her person, for she was Gen-bo's assistant in life and a spiteful little orphan at that. She may have been the bastard daughter of the village priestess and the handsome water nymph in the stream north of the village.

The Rattling Guardian is a pile of bones and assorted trash.  An elf or dwarf can find or spot its carnelian eyes (worth 100 Lunar) before it rises up, or after a battle is over. It rattles so disconcertingly that turning attempts and spells with verbal components may not be cast unless the caster makes a DC 15 Will save or the equivalent. Snakelike and quick, its bite causes melancholy and an increase in melancholic humors.  Rocko and the Rattler are mates and will cavort and laugh together. The rattle is an actual baby's rattle but searching through the pile reveals only adult bones.

If Gen-bo is put down with finality i.e. all three children are taken rescued/saved and further the body of Genbo is blessed, buried in consecrated ground or burned, the head will thereafter sing a Lotus Sutra when wound that will cure maladies 3 times.  It can be smashed to get the jewels out of the eye sockets, but if this happens they willbe revealed to be glass.  If his spirit is not laid to rest, he will visit the characters nightly and say a lewd joke and try to bite off their heads, the target decided at random.  If a character has the head in his or her possession, that character is the target of the joke and the playful bite.