Wednesday, August 8, 2018

On Modern Politics

The apocalypse of long ago that plunged the Aereth into darkness and chaos merely refined the politics of the time, which by modern standards was without nuance. The old divisions of (for example) Socialist, Anadentist, and Theocratic Neocapitalist were replaced by myriad ideologies that are more straightforward in their aims. When confronted by the various local, state, and federal police, citizens are encouraged on pain of torture and imprisonment to identify their political leanings so as to better facilitate execution, torture, imprisonment, or other inconvenience. So, most individuals adhere to a rough understanding of two or three of these political philosophies unless one is ascendant in their region and they do not plan on travelling.

A generous sample of the active Political Parties in an around the metropolis of Helleborine may be sufficient to understanding the region’s geopolitics. A brief summary of the party’s chief aims, and the benefits that accrue through registering to vote under that party follows. Please note that only Registering, Voting, and Participating in the agenda of the Party (at least during primary season) confers the listed benefits. Those who are guilty of multiple party affiliation are usually shunned and/or disintegrated, or else assumed to be Liquifactionist.

Liquifactionist: wish to liquidate non-Liquifactionists to ensure majority of tricameral representation and ascendency of Liquifactionist agenda. Registered Liquifactionists force a -4 on all saves to everyone within a 50’ radius, gain advantage or +2d on damage rolls, and -1d to all other action rolls. 
Sender: wish to cripple all non-Sender thoughts through intrusive telepathy and other mind-control devices, so as to ensure majority of tricameral representation and ascendency of Sender agenda. Party members gain a 1d6 Mental Blast as an action with a Will DC save of their Personality/Charisma score (save nullifies damage), and +3 to Will saves. They also acquire a -2 to all reaction rolls (in addition to whatever stat penalties that might accrue).
Divisionist: wish to ensure a majority of tricameral representation and ascendency of Divisionist agenda through a crude process of ‘budding’. A Divisionist may cut a piece of itself off and in 1d6 days the piece will form a mostly genetically identical clone that can act of its own volition. Each time this happens, the Divisionist loses ½ of its current Hit Points which will be regained in the standard fashion and can be healed via magic. At the end of the budding period, the clone rerolls three random ability scores. It’s not a perfect process. These count as NPCs, but one may be assumed as a PC in an emergency - possibly it’s the original instead and the player just lost track.
Primates First!: the agenda is to protect all primate life on the Aereth and ensure that no non-Primate agenda assumes ascendancy. Members gain 30” brachiation in treetops and canopy environments but lose -2 to Charisma/Personality. 
Asteroid Worshippers: worship actual semi-sentient asteroids in the belt of debris between Mars and Jupiter. It is unclear to non-party members and friends if the aims are to promote or forestall the crashing of heavenly bodies into the surface of the Aereth. Members gain the ability to telepathically communicate with each other at a distance of 100’. This range increases to 200’ at night. They also gain the ability to communicate with whatever asteroids or meteorites they might encounter (whose Int scores range from 5-30). Sadly most other beings find them off-putting and have -2 reaction roll modifier.
Third Oathers: pursue the sinister agenda of the Deep Ones. That is, to live forever, hang out on the beach and party at night, and to make sweet love to attractive humanoids. They denounce the Eschaton and devouring of the Planet Aereth by Cthulhu, as Cthulhu departed shortly after the Tunguska phenomenon in 1908. Party members can swim at 30’, and Breath Water for 1d8 turns twice a day, but will only heal regularly if submerged in water.
Centipedophiles: The tireless ‘Friends of The Space Centipedes’ are generally addicted to Bug Powder and work to make the Aereth hotter, moister, and more uniformly ‘chill’ in regards to aliens and alien interdictions on the planet. Registered members can breathe in the vacuum of space and have no natural need for sleep (although they can still be affected by sleep magic and drugs). They gain 1d4 Intelligence and lose the same Dexterity/Agility
Slimechildren: promote the welfare and reproduction of Slimes of all kinds. They eat, drink, and marry slimes. Members gain the ability to turn into a slime of equivalent biomass for 1d6 turns plus the member’s Stamina bonus. Afterward, they will be lethargic and suffer -1d on all actions
The Risen: work for Undead Rights, as established in the 7th Geneva Convention. A member gains +5 to saves versus turning, and  re-animates shortly after death, if desired. It sounds like a good deal, but it’s rather dreary since the 7th Geneva Conventions drastically limited the enjoyable parts of Undead life. This does not confer any healing or immunities to disease, for example, but given time a reanimated dead person will eventually rise and go about its business unless destroyed by fire, acid, or some other very-permanent means.
Robot Anti-Abolitionists: the founder of the RAA, Robot Abe Lincoln, still takes an active hand in smashing opponents into smithereens with his vibro-axe and establishing a foothold for Robots’ and Created-Persons’ rights, everywhere. While Slavery of Robots was repealed owing to Lincoln’s admirable efforts long ago, the reality is that many robots everywhere are treated as 3rd class citizens, or worse. There is no evident benefit to registering to vote as a member of the RAA, but robots generally have a better reaction to those who are card-carrying members. Not always, but generally.
Re-Enactors: wish to return Thrend to its “more perfect” feudal state in which the Lords and Wizards and Dragons ruled with impunity and kept serfs generally well-fed and protected of course with the loss of other human rights. Members always gain a +1d to attacks with swords and farm-tools, and have “Serf” in addition to whatever other Occupation they might have.
Jazz Party: from dreary Darkansas the Modern Jazz Spirit has come, and the only agenda members have is to listen to, appreciate, and spread knowledge and appreciation of Jazz. Flappers, dancing, and gin are incidental and seen as outside the “true party doctrine” and indeed Jazz Partiers were central in implementing the short lived Prohibition III era. JP’s are able to Appreciate Jazz at 1d24 as an action, as per the spell. In addition they get invited to lots of racy parties.
Anarchists: the complete destruction of societal order and all other factions is the Anarchists’ only aim. The structure and behavior of local cells cannot be rigidly elucidated, and it is unclear if the Anarchists are a faction or a collection of counter-acting sub-factions, each claiming to be the original party. Anarchists do not recognize the voting habits of other anarchists as a general rule. Anarchists have access to explosives and maps. Each day, a member can requisition one bomb that will do Xd6 damage, where X is the PC’s level. Alternately, documents, reports, and crude drawings are delivered to the PC that roughly coincide with the PC’s stated daily goals but that cannot be fully trusted to be accurate, since even Anarchists are prone to back-biting and infighting.
Ultra Wealthy Plutocrats: The “Point Oh Oh One Percenters” fiddle about to destabilize other political parties so that no other particular agenda comes to the fore aside from their own, that is to say to maintain the Status Quo. They have minions (but not true members) in every other political faction, including the obscure minority parties. A UWP generally has no need to worry about money, resources, or time. Most are inhuman. Some are superhuman. No PC can be a UWP, but they may often be hired or subcontracted by them. All Patrons in DCC could be considered UWPs.
Anti-Corporatists: Anti-Corporatists are scrubbed out like cockroaches, since they work in direct conflict to the beneficent aims of the Corporations. They only appear on Voting Days, to scurry back to the darkness after squealing out their complaints. No Anti-Corporatist can buy anything on credit, nor can they be hired for most civil offices, although they are rarely elected to some before quick assassination. Barter and use of ancient tender is all that is available to them (i.e. cash/bills or coins of the Ancients). They are immune to detection by non-hostile A.I.s, suffer a -2d reaction from Robots, and are unable to use the Internet without drawing police presence.
Miscellaneous Minority Parties (e.g. Ex-Earthers, Martians, Time-Stranded): various exo-citizens are generally given legal rights and voting privileges in a symbolic and mostly meaningless way since these parties are generally concerned with the welfare of Aerethers and the protection of the environment of Thrend and the other Dozen Kingdoms. No minority party has successfully passed an agenda in the Tricameral House since The Enthronement of The Corporations by Meat Abe Lincoln in 1864.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Dungeon Sigil Method for Fast Relief of Aches and Stress

So I have hinted, in the past, at my Austin Osman Spare-inspired HURRY UP I NEED A DUNGEON method. Please note, a little knowledge is a little danger, and of course whatever you summon be prepared to put down.

Holy Moley! Guacamole!
At least, it makes a map very quickly when you're in a tight spot. Let us say that your party of PCs abandons the adventure they are currently on, the one you planned to run, when they find a map to some far-away spot.

It has happened to you in just this way, yes?

You may find that explorations of the Chao are not to your liking, and so I do not give you links, yes, but merely a sidelong glimpse at the method of dungeon sigilization

Suppose you have need.  You make a wish

THIS IS MY WISH TO HAVE A SMALL DUNGEON

according to the methods of Mr. Spare, above, you may cross out repeating letters in your phrase. In this case it will give you something such as this:


And connecting the remaining letters together artfully and forgetting the whole thing altogether is the only piece that takes skill, and you may exclude that last part if you are not casting a spell but only imaginarily emobdifying your intent.

Please note, there are technical errors in the above (for example I left in the H when it ought to have been left out).

Such is the poor practice of an unwashed and unlettered CKXaosian initiate.

I use the sigil to make a map on graph paper if I need to, and then key it in the Moldvay style which does not bear repeating. I generally stock these with one trap, at least, some undead, maybe a spider variant because we all agree that such are suitable. Whatever smatterings of imaginary treasure you might be inclined to include are between you and your demigod of choice. Forbearance is better than too much treasure which is apt to derail the entirety of the game. I have a very interesting font somewhere that I have used this method with and set the kerning and spacing to less than 0 and it practically draws an oubliette for you, but harnessing the spirits of the machine this way is heretical to some. Do as you will when you make a deathtrap is maybe too on the nose. We in the U.S. value diligence, efficiency, etc. ad nauseam but craftsmanship is often more highly prized for Calvinist reasons.

Get thee hence, I geas thee, and make a dunjon for thyself. Look up the ways of AOS if you are inclin'd, or not, it is less than nothing to me and I scoff at your efforts and laugh at your death cries!

Why do you tarry? Get thee hence!

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Tablesmith Tables for Sharing

Been working on learning Tablesmith - a powerful tool and well worth the very modest investment in money and time. I crank out a couple of pages of NPCs, keyed rooms, books, and those kinds of things before sessions these days and then improv the whole thing like I gave it a lot of thought. The secret is, I did give it a great deal of thought but then I put much of it into a Tablesmith table and sort of flesh it out at game time because I arrive tired and harried after dealing with peoples' emotional distress and I don't like to prep. Procedural generation like this is very much more fun for me: I'm usually as amazed and bewildered as the players and we tend to have a good time with it. Keeping it as coherent as possible is one of the fun parts.

Last night, instead of sleeping, high on Thai Ice Tea and the rich sulfurous fumes of cheap grocery-store fireworks, I finished entering in Kabuki Kaiser's Random Monster tables from Ruins of The Undercity. I use it sometimes at the table to generate sandy, curse-infested things that feel like Middle Eastern Barrowmaze, and I reskin the normal-flavored monsters for space-age/star-wars-fantasy/DCC gonzo and GO MAN GO.

If you have any use for Tablesmith you can have them, and you know, tinker with them or what have you. I know that my good friends Bryan Mullins and Paul Wolfe of Mystic Bull might enjoy toying around with these. There's a link down at the bottom for a google drive, if I can get it to work. The contents are:

  1. NMS_Moldvay Dungeon Level2.tab - a quick n dirty spit out of the Moldvay Basic D&D dungeon generation process
  2. NMS_Moldvay Dungeon Stocking.tab - same as above, but for level 1 - you can twerk the parameters, IIRC, to get it to do levels 1,2 or 3
  3. NMS_MoldvayWM1.tab - the Moldvay random monster lists, levels 1 through 3 with numbers appearing
  4. NMS_Occupations.tab - this is a Threndian random job maker, sort of like a 0-level DCC occupation tool. It makes some jobs that I would give up to become an adventurer. Thrend is my in-brain setting. Sort of Alice in Wonderland meets WFRPG1e if it had a baby with Star Wars
  5. NMS_Quirks.tab - I forgot where I stole this list from, probably from a good one on Abulafia (which if you're into random tables and know some coding better than me, you will find is an amazing free resource lovingly tended to by Dave Younce, my favorite DM of all time)
  6. NMS_RoTUMoldvay.tab - the Moldvay process slung on top of the features, traps, and monsters of Kabuki Kaiser's Ruins of the Undercity - greatest Solo dungeon maker ever (Although Mad Monks of Kwantoom is a close second and has more of a lemongrass flavor)
  7. NMS_RoTUWM.tab - all 10 intimidating levels of Ruins of The Undercity's Random Monsters Chart
  8. NMS_Strange Books.tab - tweaked the Random Books provided with Tablesmith to have a more evil and Lovecraft-Mythosian feel to it. Also includes some changes to the book materials, binding, and sizes
  9. NMS_Street Gangs.tab - basically, aggressive adjective and noun slapped together to make an interesting and sometimes hilarious (IMHO) gang name worthy of Necromunda, Ur-Hadad, Bastion, or my own Steam-/Diesel-/Elf-punk fantasy city Helleborine
  10. Races of Thrend.tab - spits out some very weird (setting specific) races. Referenced in the Thrend Character generators
  11. Thrend Character Generator.tab - DCC stats for meatshields, NPCs, gang-members, whatever. They're weird. Think Adventure Time plus Alice in Wonderland, plus Hellboy
  12. Torturous Backstories.tab - Stolen from Coins and Scrolls blog. 500 ennui-filled character premises
  13. Comma Delimited Rogues Gallery.tab - for my own use, to spit out tables full of nutjobs for making into easily-importable tables for InDesign
  14. Dickensian Names.tab - my favorite, and what got me into Tablesmith. I essentially stole the name list from >>>HERE GOD BLESS THESE GOOD HEARTED PEOPLES<<< and twerked on it to make the names even more ludicrous and to spit out more than one at a go... God Bless You, Name Nerds!
  15. Gothic Problems.tab - stolen from a Jane Austen-flavored RPG called Cruelity and Gothic Tales (which is something I've always wanted to play but haven't found the right group for). There's an updated version on RPGNow which is 2.00$. Just saying.
  16. HHS1_Gear.tab - random gear stolen from my very own starting equipment tables in The Hounds of Halthrag Keep
  17. NMS_Candy.tab - just a list of all the types of candy and Slurpee flavors I could think of, referenced in the Races of Thrend list. Into the Odd really got me thinking about gum and I like the idea of Candyland/Candy Kingdom gone evil and rotten. Remind me to finish that board game I thought of some time...
  18. NMS_EvilBooks.tab - I think it's just names, referenced in the Strange Books .tab, above.
  19. NMS_ExpandedJewelry.tab - the usual Jewelry list from Tablesmith, plus a bunch of other sorts I could find (mostly elaborate Indian jewelry). I think it references my Materials list, below 
  20. NMS_Materials.tab - all kinds of fantasy and real-world metals, plus some other non-metallic materials from fiction. Originally appeared on Abulafia (which is still one of the best low-prep RPG resources a GM could want)
There you go. Very likely I'll TS-ify a couple more of my favorites from Halthrag Keep, and my Mysterious Undead Properties thingamajig. I also stole the names from Darkest Dungeon which is a very dreadful theft, and drove me to a brief bout of insanity and lecherous flagellations, but I've recovered.


 
 
 

Friday, May 18, 2018

The Children of Gmork for RT/Inq28

I was looking at these Chaos Marines and Space Wolves bits, thinking about why I keep them, and I couldn't think of a good reason at that moment, and then the Internet showed me a very brief advertisement for a new GW skirmish game named Rogue Trader, I guess, but not the same one from 1986.

And I was going to use the SW bits for my Amber College Dungeonbowl kitbashery, just because, but it got me motivated some to sculpt some tabards and robes to put underneath all these leftover CSM  bits, and to use to make a Necromunda Chaos Cult with.

I think I will stat them up in RT1e and maybe convert to Necromunda 17 for a kick.

Interestingly, there is a work-up of Inq28 for Necromunda 2017, already! Which you can find on Yaktribe if you go looking!

Mostly, my ideas for the thing are based around:



Gmork, from the Neverending story. The big wolf that hunts Atreyu (Noah Hathaway, yo!). Servant of The Nothing, sent by The Manipulators to turn the people of Fantasia/Fantastica into Lies in the Real World. Starring: the GW Warg leader, or maybe just a Fenrisian wolf, a one of these barghests I have laying around.



This page of Tzeentch Chaos Renegades from the RT1 era. which I have seen painted all kinds of cool ways, and which I lusted after as a kid - let's face it, those RT Chaos SM were infintely weirder and cooler and more Xaos than the recent ones, which are still pretty cool.

This illustration of what must be CSM but which I took to be a very very weird regular space marines picture, because in my pre-teen mind I made no clear distinction between the good guys and bad guys and maybe even RT didn't make a good distinction, either?

And to use up all these Space Wolves bits and turn them to Evil Ends. I really sort of want to sculpt and cast a squad's worth of filthy, tattered tabards and weird biomechanical neck veins and horned skull helmets and weird insectile-robot arms.

anyways, a cult of Chaos Undivided/Malloc that is bent on dissolution and annhilitaion of everything, not just some dumb aggression.  Fill in the gaps with robots, adeptae mechanicae scumbags, and converted IG and gang-types

We'll see! Fingers crossed.  The Emperor is a Corpse! The Nothing is Coming!

Friday, April 6, 2018

Foul and Deep and Poopy

ALL THIS SEWER DELVING IS GIVING ME THE SPOTS
Let's talk for a second about the term 'Fatberg', shall we?

I can do that. I'm a dad. I can say 'poopy' and without irony and it's totally fine. I say to normal adults all the time "HEY MAN I GOTTA GO POTTY BE RIGHT BACK" before I even understand what is coming out of my mouth. It's a byproduct of fatherhood, and I hope that one day it will pass. I would never say SHIT at my house unless my kid was asleep since, excuse me!, that's a potty word.

A disclaimer, here. I kept hearing about the Barrowmaze a couple years ago. I guess I'd been out of the RPG scene for a long time, maybe 12 to 15 years depending how you reckon it. I was looking for PbP forums to get back into it, sort of low-commitment. Heh! Don't let anybody tell you that PbP is low commitment, by the by. Anyway, I stumbled upon Daniel Bishop's Barrowmaze PbP and quickly found I had little knowledge of the system (DCC) and not nearly enough time to stay on top of it, and so I found GeePlus and thus was history. I wouldn't have found DCC without lagging behind in Daniel's game, and so I shelled out the squibs for a PDF and haven't been impressed like that since maybe the first time I read my AD&D1e DMG!

I have a soft spot for DCC, and Daniel Bishop's stuff. There. I coulda said just that and been fine.

I picked up "Both Foul and Deep" which appeals to the "Underground Explorer" part of my brain. I think when we think of adventures in sewers, we think of "Big Trouble In Little China", the escape from Ladyhawke, and the only other examples I can recall are like C.H.U.D. and some really awful scenes in Aliens Vs. Predator II, and maybe I guess the climax of "IT" by Stephen King. For those, it's drippy water, narrow walkways, and rats. Lots of rats. There's an Indian Jones sewer scene. A lot of CRPGs start with Rats in Sewers. Elder Scrolls: Arena. Lots of Neverwinter Nights freebie modules (i think the sewer steam tunnel set was one of the better ones). I think that we ROMANTICIZE the fantasy sewer, oddly enough, and think that it's a good place to have adventures. We're probably REALLY thinking of the Catacombs of Paris and London and Rome when we think about sewer adventures, when in reality a sewer crawl would be awful, wet, cramped, and torturous. I think this may be the first product I've ever seen that really addresses just how much SHIT you'd find and how sick you'd get if you are so bold and rather let's say FOOLHARDY to go into the sewers of any medieval metropolis, fantasy or no (in reality, I don't think we really had sewers until the early part of the modern era, like maybe late 1800 's early 1900's).

There is a lot of poop in this product. A lot of feces. A torrent of shit. A river of shit. A lot of slime, sewage, and disease. Plenty of awful monsters that have poopy abilities and none would be a good way to die, and all of them would probably not be fun to fight. There's some rationale for having humanoid/human encounters in the sewers - really everybody and everything else you meet down there are likely to be desperate and murderous or at least have the potential for it.

There's a brief adventure/starter with some novel encounters, a couple of dozen new monsters (terrifying owing to their ferocity and filthiness),  also a DCC Patron at the end. I would bond a PC to the Patron Squallas just to drown an enemy in an extradimensional river of shit just one time.

The production values are high, the writing is intelligent and terse, and the Carrion Moth and the Phantom Gentleman are worth the reasonable price of admission. The question remains: how would I tempt the PC's to enter into the accurately-rendered shitty environs of the sewers of say the 3e Ravenloft undercity of Paridon? Poop smells bad! Poop in a toilet smells bad! Poop in the open smells bad (I drove by Tijuana once, I'm just saying)! Poop on the inside the endless world beneath the toilet probably also smells bad!

Fatberg. Look it up!

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