Monday, April 24, 2017

Market Forces

My lesser hobby is Goodwills, looking for old tech.  My lesser lesser hobby is that feeling of amaze when I go into New York Mart in Rockville, not far from my second office... Smells of fish and far away - in fact they have a whole tank full of live eels! Not to mention piles of different noodles and all kinds of shit you never saw in your local grocery store. All kinds of drinks from exotic (to me) fruits, I mean they got durian here, they got pandan here, they got grass jelly... This feeling of amazement reminds me very much of Kabuki Kaiser's Mad Monks of Kwantoom, and In My dreamy over-stimmed state I was prompted by various product names to make some NPCs:

Durian Jackfruit: Hard-hitting bandit of the hill countries.  He is known to alight from trees with a giant gnarly mace and brain merchant caravan guards. It is said he is part marmoset or maybe ooloi but nobody is sure. His parents where Cthulhu cultists, and he has no regard whatsoever for civilized peoples unless they are immune to his fluid-filled Mace of Concussions +2

Mr Squid: Biomancer from the Quadling countries. He has a face like a half-frozen octopus, a head full of second-rate biosofts, and 3 arms ending in triple-jointed fingers.  Maybe it's a 'he'. I don't think it matters too much. He loves to hire less-busy-than-him adventurers to secure rare herbs and organic, locally sourced components of his customized decoctions that will do all sorts of crazy combinations of spell effects for very brief durations. Metabolism is the key, here.  He also is very willing to sell his old biosoft chips or trade them for work or ingredients.  He will give you very good rates for unique ingredients.

Horlicks: Horlicks is a Parrot-Kenku Yobber. That is, he steals safes and other large objects from hardened targets. His specialty is art.  Big art.  Nobody knows how he gets these big objets d'art from tiny windows, but he has like 14 bags of devouring that never get hungry and a portable hole for a wallet.  He's got a nilbog coworker that nobody's ever seen.  Maybe it lives in the portable hole.

Apple Sidra: Apple Sidra is a fox-tailed shrine-keeper maiden at the Wayshrine of the Clam-that-looks-like-a-lotus.  She is always engaged in beating back clam poachers, eel-men, and other unsavory types, or else recovering the Holy Lotusclams after they have been poached (not cooked, but stolen - she hasn't yet lost a Lotusclam permanently). The Blue-Green Lotus Clam in particular is 247 years old and it is said that stealing it is the 4th Step in the Path of the Slippery Buddha, but that eating it will surely cause unceasing nausea until the end of days (incidentally, also immortality but who wants nauseated eternal life?)

Hi-Red Tiger: She is a noodle-saleswoman from the Lightless Lands below and has a great number of connections to the Underkingdom cuisine trade. There is always a line to her noodle booth where one may rub elbows with haughty elfs, Dralasite Miners, Dalek Scientists, Svirnebflin Gangsters, and Yoon-Twai Noblewomen.  It will take 1d8 hours to get to the front of the line, and you get what she hands you, if she is there, or else her understudies do.  The noodles are great but the broths are where the magic lies, as they are slightly psychotropic and very filling.  A bowl will put you in touch with the Higher Realms until you visit the loo or sweat the poison out through your pores.  The good thing is, you can dehydrate while you wait

That's all I got for now, except a bitchin green straw broom that my kid will ride like Kiki does in that movie, a pile of coconut-pandan grass candy, some Pocky, and Black-Black chewing gum. Also, some Korean Ramen that is better by far than the shitty ones we get from Top, and also some Canned Cappucino that I believe is making me hallucinate and anyways, back to work

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