Black Rites of Walmammon - Funnel Free for All

This started as a couple of threads on Geeplus but if its not in 6x9 format these days, then there's almost no point in making it so here you go. If you're dying for a PDF or something, tap me on G+ and say so.  I envisioned some Holloway art with a fat hobbit attacking an old lady beadle, or a mudlark, something like that but you can pretty much fill it in for yourself.  Here's a place holder:

The Ancient Rite of WalMammon the Black

It occurred to me in the relative safety of my living room, madness reigning everywhere else, that I ought to write a Black Friday funnel for DCC in which hordes of 0-levels fight each other for tawdry goods deeply discounted but still (sadly) worthless. I am sick with turkey poisoning and indigestion, and slept the sleep of those who over-indulge. I anticipate days and days of unhappiness and acid reflux; strangely my wife says again and again "DONT THROW IT OUT"... does she not understand this flesh and these sweet potatoes are our dooms? The baby, sensibly, will not eat any of it. She does not yet know Gluttony, my pure and precious little aleax...

Each year on the day after the Day of Feasting and Humility, the Citizens of Aereth approach the terrible zones of conflict closest to their own localities to wrassle, eye gouge, and bite for their piece of the Aerethian Dream. The Chaotic random violence and wild discounts offset almost all the Good and Orderly Charitable Works done the day before by the narrow minded agents of Law

The closest one to you is at the mostly deserted keep of the wizard Halthrag - traditionally cleared of the sleepy and irascible monsters on this most august day. The Dead Cyclops inside and the ramparts and staircases are strewn with 'bargains'. By solemn tradition if you throw some coppers at the Flesh Golems at the gates, they do not smash you as you run out...

For each item you carry, have 1d6 copper pieces to fling at the check-out Golems barring your exit. If you are killed inside your form transitions into one of them, or some other monster (possibly a Beast Man or Zomborg) as appropriate. You get 1 xp for each 'opponent' neutralized and 1 xp for each treasure you get past the morose hulks at the check out counter, but you go deeply into metaphysical and possibly actual monetary debt. Any survivors get the additional "Retail Warrior" lucky modifier, which applies to all attacks on any market or feast day going forward (but only in the market or very nearby).  Of course, if you have not the moneys as you sprint to the exits, then your life and soul are forfeit, although the Chaos powers are happy to extend credit to those who will do their bidding...

"I can't believe Todd put me in for 5 hours today.  What a jerk."

There is, unbeknownst to most, a newly built express check-out lane just over there, but you need to have at least 3 bargain items in your hands to even become aware of it. If you are so encumbered, then with a DC 10 Luck Check, you can scramble toward that check out, where a gnome with a long unkempt beard will take your hastily flung coppers, and as you careen out the exit, you arrive in the first room of some appropriate adventure totally unrelated to the current campaign. Thus, this Chaos Node allows access to many terrible alternate realities. Once you have discovered this express lane exit, it becomes evident to all present and you get another 3 xp for being first through the gates nearby, propelling many Hapless Souls into the clutches of the 9000 Powers of Disorder.

The gates fly up at promptly 11:59 so bring your coupons...

I needed a long list of cheap crap to punch a nearby turnip farmer and elfin haberdasher over. The amazing G+ community was happy to play along until they also succumbed to the funk.

d64 THINGS FOUND IN THE MIDST OF SHOPPING CHAOS NODES

I started the list with these, and the appropriate conspirators are named before each of their entries (some other individuals are tagged as in-jokes):

1.) Play Set of 4 "The Band" action figures with Shanna Dahaka strangely absent

2.) Silver-Coated Feather Pen (1d3, will hit undead)

3.) Roy the Radish's Barrowmaze Snake Oil +Dave Younce 

4.) Orichalcum Tuning Fork, slightly imperfect +James Bennett 

5.) Waite Family Summer Sausage Set (1d3, attracts ghouls)

6.) Super-Finely Milled Extra Explosive Sack of Flour +Evan Lindsey 

Scott Martin :

7.) Purple Pony figurine of wondrous power (says on the box will be your friend for life)

Paul C

8.) A small golden goblin figure, on a wooden stand, that will perform a stiff, jerky dance when music is played.  

James August Walls

9.) Brand New Gongfarming Toolkit

John Fiore

10.) Officially licensed Tootums McGrimm's Junior Bagpipe of Melancholy.

For every little boy or girl who has ever dreamed of leading a funeral procession - just blow and go!  (Only usable by children and wee folk, fascinates undead)

11.) Dr. Milos Prometheus' Aura Repairer (64 D cells not included) +David VC 

12.) A pack of 8 D Cell Tellurian Batteries (minir corrupshuns incurred per use)

13.) Faulty Silgurian Laser Pistol (1d10 damage, on a 1-5 to hit it vaporizes the wielder and makes a perfectly demispherical crater)

14.) A slightly rabid monkey pet, eats geese and pigs and flings poo (AC17, HP 4). In a cage. If it kills its owner it becomes a demonic familiar according to the core rules and attaches to the next character that owns it 

15.) A spare D Cell of the Ancient Moon Dwellers, skittering around on the floor (adds 3 to fumble range as long as it's held)

16.) A gilded hobby horse (3 D cells not included)

DuncanMc LIMBindery

17.) A glow in the dark sailors outfit! Looks slimming, and attracts Kraken.

18.) 1st edition Manual of the Puns: any jesters gain +5 to any punning attack rolls (see Dragon #60)

19.) Dr. Xavier's Eye Drops, 3 pack. +Eric Fabiaschi

trey causey

20.) Home Cocktail Kit with silver shaker, strainer +1, Cobra Fang Juice, Hydrogen Bitters, and a 10 year old bottle of Old Panther.

21.) A fist sized chunk of evilly-glowing rock. Color (1d6) 1: Green 2:Blue-green 3: Blue 4: Pink 5: Purple 6: Jale

trey causey

22.) Leopard Skin Pill Box Hat, Of Leopard Transformation.

(editor’s note: you know what they say about folks who wear leopard prints)

23.) A half-unwrapped bar of Radox Milk Chocolate, gleaming Platinum Ticket showing underneath the folded corner

24.) A copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Purple Planet, signed by the author and artists

25.) A dingy towel of indeterminate color, suffused with a variety of vitamins and nutrients

26.) Minimizing Glass

27.) Sardonyx Mirror - will not reflect any images whatsoever except those of vampires (possibly useful but breaks into pieces on any attack rolls of 8 or better by the bearer) 

28.) Flumph Detector - 1 D cell included, can be powered by a greenstone shard in a pinch 

29.) Brass Thought Projector - a twisted cap that covers the entire frontal lobe portion of the skull, including the eyes. It bonds painfully and instantly to the wearer, and all of his thoughts are projected nearby with ominous and threatening undertones added. Reduces morale of enemies but reaction rolls are worsened automatically. Kith will automatically attack with no quarter offered or taken . (Editor’s note: I can’t recall but this may have been directly stolen from Purple Planet)

30.) Lunchables, Cold Pepperoni Pizza flavor; cumulative minor corruptions incurred when eaten but stays edible indefinitely forever 

31.) Pet Goose Ghoul-Attractant Pheromone Nullifier - its well known that geese attract ghouls. This subtly alters the pheromones exuded by pet geese so that they attract androids and minotaurs and trolls, instead!

32.) The Sword of Castle Greyskull - can never kill anything, ever, ever, but if the PC's strength is less than 7 it allows him or her a radical identity change and to raise the Strength score to 19/85. The change last for 1d4+(Personality modifier) turns

33.) Zik Zak Orb of Chaos - 12 pack. Cast cantrip as the scroll with a minimum 3 point spellburn. Add 2 mercurial effects per casting and the Orbs vaporize immediately upon use 

34.) 14" HiDef God Eye, deity/patron determined randomly, 2 D cells not included (editor’s note: this is for ASE and the various spin-offs, which are terrific)

35.) A Pumpkin-Headed bipedal Steel Chassis with a Santa-cleric hat affixed to the rotten pumpkin with hot glue. If you flip the switch, your identity is sucked inside by old magicks (editor’s note: +Taylor Frank’s character from Space Dungeon)

36.) IKEA Brand Magic Wardrobe: it only goes to (1d4) 1) Alfgrim 2) The southeast section of the Barrowmaze 3) The Purple Planet 4) a service closet on the space station that orbits the tomb planet of Nebulmor.  This is encumbering on account the box is awkward.

Victor Garrison (headspice)

Point of purchase item at the registers:

37.) Packets of "Pock Rocks" - Small granular substance in foil lined packs. Rip open and fling contents at victim. Substance adheres to and reacts to moisture in skin. Erupts with loud popping sounds all over surface of skin, ripping out small craters of flesh. Roll 1D10 for number of wounds. For each wound roll 1D2 for it's damage. 

38.) A shaker-can of Professor Action's Animation Powder, very much past the expiration date. Any inanimate object this can is shaken upon becomes sentient, mobile, and hostile and acquires some detrimental monomaniacal drive in direct conflict with the owner of the can

39.) A pack of Magic: The Bothering cards, all the rares having been removed. Throwing the cards in the ground will convert the surface of whole area permanently into a mucky bog, a stagnant pool of water, a peaty forest floor, a sandy expanse, or a rocky mountain side. Any summoned monster hit by the card's effects does its best to reduce the user's hit points to 0 in preference to all other targets 

40.) A burial mask of some random material that grants undead (only!) the ability to cast a first level Wizard or Cleric spell

Scott Martin

41.) The three last packs of Ice Cream Gum.

42.) A dinner plate of about an inch thickness, glowing softly with weak light (actually a data-disc; see the Christmas 2015 Crawling Under a Broken Moon) +David VC +Reid San Filippo. A random symbol-icon is inscribed on the surface  (Editor’s note: consider this an advertisement for the Christmas issue of CUaBM)



43.) TLC's Jars of Essential Saltes of Various Dead Celebrities and the Level 4 Wizard spell instructions to animate them but you don't necessarily get any bonuses to the process but please o please you're welcome to cast it anyways (any non-successful casting rolls are rerolled and you pile on corruptions and negative effects as you reroll).  The minimum DC for an actual success is 18, and its really Summon Demon II with a celebrity personality injected

Victor Garrison (headspice)

44.) KY Condom Bombs Condoms filled to near bursting with KY jelly. Thrown at the feet of adversaries racing to beat you to the next Blue Light Special. Causes target to run at 10X their normal speed yet never move from the spot the bomb exploded on. Victims legs spin like in a Scooby Doo cartoon.

45.) Special Edition Holodisc Collections of the "Galactic Warriors of Zeta 19" with all the original physical effects edited out and character development sanitized. If you watch it somehow before you rise to level 1, you may addend to your funnel occupation "and Star Warrior Initiate". You're our only hope.

46.) A Black Thomas The Death Engine playse, complete with colliery, steam works, and glow in the dark summoning circle appliqué which can actually be used to summon tiny demons 

Terry Olson

47.) Jolly Shardshers: Tiny edible green-apple-flavored shards of arcane crystal. Imported from the Purple Planet and packaged in Kith sweatshops.

Richie Cyngler

48.) Flubber inflatable humanoid, gendered and anatomically approximal. 

Richie Cyngler

49.) Macrame bag of marketeering. 50% chance of withdrawing a spongy polymer, badly painted, replica of any item stored in the bag.

Richie Cyngler

50.) Set of single use Jingzoo knives (1d20). The haft of each knife is a poorly sculpted random animal.

Richie Cyngler

51.) Scamois. Lustrous square of baby pink cloth. Objects polished with the cloth become filthy an smell terrible.

Richie Cyngler

52.) My rock VI. A stone tablet displaying ever changing text and images. Consult the object to determine what your second cousin had for breakfast.

Richie Cyngler

53.) Maxxxy Go bar food replacement amalgam. Provides energy and sustenance for four hours +1d4 temporary hp +1d4 Str. Followed by 8 hours of exhaustion -1d8 Str, impotence.

Richie Cyngler

54.) Can'o'Wyrms.

Richie Cyngler

55.) Scissors of Regret. Normal, sharp well-cast steel haberdasher's scissors. Owner will stab themselves with the scissors a number of times equal to the amount of loved ones they have abandoned in their life. 1d4 per stab.

Richie Cyngler

56.) Alpha Uno special sauce. Renders any living matter it is applied to into a delicious hot sweet and savoury meal. 1d20 applications.

Richie Cyngler

57.) Slonky. Ultra compact coil of high tensile climbing cable, 100’ extended. Not quiet when in use makes spooky metallic reverberant sounds. Also goes down stairs.

Richie Cyngler

58.) Cowls of Ever-Dreaming. Poorly made silver coloured cloth eye masks with loose non-adjustable band available in bulk point-of-sale bins 20% chance or part of ticket price for long voyages or found used in busy ports. A user of these eye masks will appear to be in a deep sleep while they are actually transported to the moon court of faerie King of Bougheye where they will be trapped in a major dance among the stardust.

59.) Slankets of all different sizes and materials and each one has a wondrous image of the logo of some local favorite sporting club (The Innsmouth Tadpoles are represented, for example).  You can grab 1d4 and run, OR you can get a special one with your favorite logo on it with a DC 14 Luck check. Add an extra XP if you make it to the counters with this one, but if you fail then a Random Monster arrives to give you trouble RIGHT NOW 

Jarrett Crader

60.) Tickle Me Elzemon- a mini Elzemon that when tickled in JUST the right way (at least 1 point of spellburn) will summon Elzemon. He's a real fucker. Gives audible clues when tickled incorrectly. 

Jarrett Crader

61.) Sexx Boxx One- deck and two controllers- allows swapping of gender via controller link. Hook it up to a flailsnail and see what happens!

Jarrett Crader

62.) Crabbage Pack Kids (trap)- will look all cute and shit and then animate and grow to full height (8ft tall) in 1d8 rounds. Init starts at minus4 and goes to +4 depending on height. Also have variable to hit bonus (minus 4 to +4) and do one attack on a d20- smother- target is grappled unless successful Reflex save (scales from DC 7 up to DC 15). 1d4 damage each round smothered in crabbage leaves. Cannot move.

Brad Black

63.) Scented Candle Set (1d3+1). They burn brighter than normal and the smell of cats will keep rats and other small vermin at bay.

Ryan Lozano

64.) The Fruitcake of Perpetual Storage - restores those adventurers who dare break the cellophane seal! (Editor’s note: I can’t help but add a link to +Daniel Bishop’s Christmas adventure in which a sentient and evil fruitcake plays a pivotal role.)

Gunslingers and Galoots

Listening to the Sanctum Secorum Halloween Episode whilst on the ole stationary-bike-in-the-basement (as a Florida native I am not interested in doing exercise when it's chilly).  It's chock full of good stuff and you ought to check it out if you like Appendix N Book Club-type situation and also free DCC content and ideas (since the time I wrote this, they put out another episode or two!)




Cimarron Rose here was associated with George Newcombe in the real world!

Meanwhile, I release the Gunslinger to you in easy-to-read, plain n' simple 6x9 no frills format. Sometimes, you gotta have a guy or gal who will kill people with a gun and by definition these folks ought to be better at it than your average schmuck.  So there you have it.





As for average schmucks, I kin offer the following:




The way Boot Hill does it, it separates all characters into a couple of different stats, those being things like tracking (superfluous for me in DCC), horsemanship (also superfluous), bravery (DCC doesn't do morale too much/well but for me it varies and I use the Moldvay way), and drawing speed (LOOK OUT NOW!) and accuracy (VERY IMPORTANT WHEN A PERSON HAS A BEAD ON YOU).  I think it's easier to keep accuracy and speed as a single thing but YMMV.  I included a rudimentary morale and fleeing system in my own DCC rules lite solo book, and I believe in these things in my heart.




Now, since there's no demi-humans, mostly, and no goblinoid or orky bad guys n such, but there are a great number of apathetic men of low character who would like to shoot you, I offer a very simple and no-frills stat block - suitable for a wide range of games - to pepper your Old West with gun-toting thugs and desperadoes.  Assume Neutral or Chaotic alignments, as you like, since it seems to me law-abidin' folks don't go about shooting up citizens, but hey your dog may hunt otherwise.  Things like Personality/Wisdom and Strength are superfluous but can be generated on the fly


I assume knives, bowie knives, clubs, pistols (1d8), shotguns (2d6, 6s explode another die), carbines (1d12), and rifles (1d12) for gear.  If you use Transylvanian Adventures rules, then you can steal Ruin points to give these folks an edge that would likely let a party cruise right over them.  Maybe an occasional fool would have a boomerang, sword, or staff but for the most part in the West, if you're not packing heat then you're not a viable opponent.




Common Thug
HD: 4 HP
AC: 9
Morale (Low: 6-7)


Other Scores (2d6+2)


Bandito/Desperado/"Cowboy" (note "cowboy" in the pejorative sense of 1880s)
HD (Average Party level -2) or 1, whichever is more.  I figure about 6 HP each, and a good clean shot with a small arms, or a knife blade, ought to finish these folks off or prompt an immediate withdrawal or surrender...
AC (12)
Morale (Average: 7-8)
Other scores (2d8 when needed)


Gunfighter
HD (Average Party Level) I figure about 6 HP per HD
AC (10+d6 - assume these folks to be taking cover, crouching, relatively quick)
Morale (High: 9-10)
Other Scores (2d6+4 when needed, a focus on Agility for DCC)
Arms and equipment will be slightly better.  Can critical hit like Warriors or Thieves/Specialists/Valiants
In terms of Boot Hill 2, these folks will have survived 2d6+2 gunfights, and killed 1d10 men or women.  Gunfighters ought to have attack bonuses for high Agility when shooting, IMHO


Star Bad Guys
HD (Average Party Level +2) again at about 6-8 HP per HD depending upon the needs of the thing
AC (10+d8 skilled killers would be deft and survive owing to Luck)
Morale (high to fanatical, so about 9-12)
Other Scores (3d6 as PCs, maybe one ability at 15 or above)


Kellri has put out a terrific rip of the Boot Hill 2 stats blocks, and with his permission I might do a little conversion with his document so as to make some of the historical gunfighters and the in-system fictional ones.  At the link you'll find a PDF of a good number of the things, but mine would be a rough approximation with some spreadsheet calculations to put the dudes (almost all dudes, IIRC maybe Calamity Jane the exception) into a DCC or d20 stats framework.


Hmm.  Seems to me we could use some fairer-sexed gunslingers in this Weird West world.  +Doug Kovacs has it locked on Catastrophe Jane, and +Brenda Wolfe may soon advance her professor of phrenology (I think it was phrenology) into the adventuring classes.  I envision Head Acolyte +Jen Brinkman as some sort of Galadriel spooky-fast sea-faring pirate gunslinger but that's just me.


Keep your powder dry, cowpokes!

The Gunslinger for DCC

(Oct. 1, evening)

I have this DCC Weird West Barrowmaze thing, ostensibly starting up a couple of weeks ago and creaking to life slowly.  Spurred forward by the arrival on the scene of the Black Powder, Black Magic zine by Stormlord Publishing and also my grokking of the terrific Shudder Mountain Boxed Set.  It set in motion some hankerin' for some 1870's-era quick draw things, and so I present to you a rudimentary version of the DCC Gunslinger.  I found a couple of different systems for Wild West games, namely 2nd edition Boot Hill (which is clumsy and needs patching but has a distinct merit about it), a little free thing called Go Fer Yer Gun! which I have linked to in the past, and obviously Carl and Eric's stuff in BPBM 1.  That is shoehorned on top of Transylvanian Adventures' fumble/crits/fear/general play system and further sprinkled with Autarch's Ravenloft book for d20, as well as Barrowmaze Complete.  Why?  I don't know.  Why not?

If you choose to be a gunslinger, what you sort of are is a base Warrior from DCC core book, but you take away the mighty deeds with various weapons and specialize with a pistol of some kind (in my brain imagination zone there are different flavors of pistols, but we'll see how it plays out) or pistols, generally.

You get a d10 fast draw die, which you add to your initiative with pistols (and maybe to Reflex saves in a pinch), in addition to your Agility initiative bonus and level.  For shots or trick shots with your pistol, you also get your Agility and level.  You get the fanning feat from BPBM 1, which is cool, and all your shots with pistols count as short range, within the normal range of the pistol.  You can burn a Luck point to avoid jams and fumbles with your pistol, and your crit range is equal to your Level (so 20 at Level 1, 19-20 at Level 2, etc).  You do get a Trick Shot die with pistols, same as a regular Warrior but you lose deeds with other weapons.  Further, you can burn 1 Luck to move your critical hit result up or down 1 as you like, whichever suits you best.

NPC's banditos/bad guys/Cowboys are generally going to have the quick draw die, and an agility mod, HP and that's it.  I mean, no need to get complicated with stats etc.  I have been working on a Rogue's Gallery thing with 100 Western NPCs, but it's more an experiment in Excel than anything else (note I did this once before for vanilla DCC).  A pretty cool thing about Boot Hill is that it has stats for all kinds of thugs and luminaries from our actual (regretably gun-violence oriented) Mythical American Past, and some of these cats were really sunsabitches of the worst sort.  Even the Earps and Doc Holliday were prone to casual murder...  (Funny, I examine this last sentence here, and maybe I don't need to post a thing about gunslinging today, owing to all the horrible news... I just took the wind out of my own sails with reality.  Gonna park this one here and come back to it tomorrow or something.)

Let me tell you later about the Dalton Gang and Coffeyville, the Death of Johnny Ringo, the Le Mat 9-shot pistol, and some other things.  But not today. Also, following Boot Hill 2.0 I think everyone probably ought to have a Gambler Rating

More later

Jonah Hex for DCC/Transylvanian Adventures

As promised, you yellow bellied dogs.  Now, dance!

Jonah Hex is a wandering scoundrel and anti-hero, former Confederate Cavalry-man and Apache brave.  He subsists as a gun-for-hire and bounty hunter, travelling the Weird West leaving death and corpses in his wake.  Grievously scarred and practically missing half of his face, Hex regularly encounters criminal elements and hostility.  Despite his self-centered and bleak outlook he is generally a hero for the Common Man and the Downtrodden Innocent and is particularly kind to children and women.  In addition to the scum that he brings to justice, he often brushes against the worst parts of the supernatural and weird, facing spirits and extra-terrestrial horrors in his travels.  For a time he travelled through the post-apocalyptic future owing to the machinations of his enemies, and even served otherworldly powers after his physical death.

JONAH HEX (Neutral Level 5 Warrior/Scoundrel Analog)

AC: 15 HP: 55

Strength      15 (somewhat stronger than average, and an iron grip)

Agility         17 (supernaturally quick, and an excellent marksman)

Stamina       16 (very durable but not disease- or poison- or whiskey-proof)

Intelligence 14 (cunning and clever)

Personality  14 (facial disfigurement but men and women follow him readily)

Luck           17 (The Luck of the Devil himself!)

I imagine his lucky roll would be something like: Back From the Dead (bonus to Turn Over the Body rolls, but if Transylvanian Adventures rules are used, see below).

Almost always armed, but a capable unarmed hand-to-hand fighter.

A Bowie Knife (1d8) or A Cavalry Sabre (1d10)

A Colt Navy Revolver (1d4+1 squared) OR a Colt Single Action Army (1d4+1 Squared) OR a .357 Blackhawk (1d6+2 squared)

Sometimes he carries a Tomahawk (1d8)

Abilities:

Hangman’s Humor: If a Ruin point is accumulated by him for whatever reason, then Jonah may elect to make an inappropriate joke and spend a Luck point and shift the Ruin point to another PC or NPC (in which case it may not have any effect at all).  The “victim” may make a Will Save at Jonah’s current Luck score to avoid it. If Ruin points are not used, then Jonah can opt to make the joke anytime a Save is called for, and gets a +1D bonus to the next roll AFTER the save. The joke has to be a snappy one-liner, appropriate for the context, and delivered immediately.  Chaotic beings and people save at -2D to avoid the Ruin acquisition.

Lucky Bastich: Any time Jonah eats a hot meal, sleeps comfortably, drinks whiskey or other spirits, or engages in physical affection with a woman, he accrues +1d3 Luck to his maximum, in addition to whatever other modifiers and consequences might apply.  His Luck does not regenerate otherwise.

What Happened to Your Face, Mister? Any PC or NPC can ask Hex what happened to his face, which triggers a Gallows Humor opportunity, but in this case Jonah distributes a Ruin point to all who hear the joke (everyone at the bar, at the card tables, and the barkeep, for instance).  If Ruin is not used, then Jonah instead gets +2D to a roll of his choice, which he may hold for anytime within the session.  These bonuses do not stack, BUT the opportunities accumulate.  Everywhere he goes, bodies pile up behind him.

White Hot Death: In addition to regular Mighty Deeds as a Warrior of his level, if Jonah slays an enemy with a pistol then he immediately can make another Mighty Deed attack at his full Action Die, until his ammunition runs out, and then can follow the last shot with a melee attack with no penalties for unarmed or improvised weapons.  He uses full Action Die for dual-wielded pistols without penalty.

He’s also skilled with setting traps and deadfalls, and makes these and any Thief-based skills with his full Action Die and stat-based bonuses.  In addition, he gets a +6 bonus to any tracking- or hunting-related DC rolls, and any tests of horsemanship.

The Papodiles of Awz

Papists!  We all Hate 'Em.  Amiright?

I'll say again that the spirit of the Baum Oz books ought to, by rights, pervade all our DnD'ing.  So the kicker is that we needed some stuff for a nasty Oz-flavored thing in which to express our IT GETS WORSE motif.  It was good times.

+Evan Lindsey and +Bryan Mullins as Billy Buttons the Blunderbussing 10-year old, and Ransom Calabash, a inexpertly glued together victim of the 1000-yards of Verdun.  He went starkers as a melodic spell was cast at him and literally fell to pieces and was pitched off a cliff.

1) Howell, the Tattered Woggle Bug Sangrita Blast Salesman
2) a Half Dozen Minus One Irritable Kalidahs
3) Miss Petunia, the Buff Orpington Photographer
4) The Black Carniv'rous Heliotrope
5) Whistler, the Shrunken Apple Headed King of the Western Orchard Lands

A thing which the Internet gave us but which sadly we could not use owing to time constraints and the limitations of my frail human frame was the above, the Papodiles.  Behold, their Toothy Mitermaws!  Their babbling Proselyzations (SAN damage) and in other systems we determined that you can take damage depending upon your alignment, but I was thinking that if (for example) your SAN or your Willpower ran out, then of course you'd be Catholic and convert and just go on your merry way to play out whatever Catholicism means to you.  Not as a spiteful thing, mind you, but in the spirit of the times of Baum and Nast (so like maybe a little spiteful since they weren't enlighten'd then as we are, now).

I'm going to say in the interests of hot social commentary that these Ravenous Beasts are amphibian, Lawful Evil, and they horde gold and unread bibles at the bottom of their murky lairs, and they especially love to prey upon the poor, the young, the winsome, and that all three qualities in a single individual (e.g. Master Buttons, above) draws them as a moth to the proverbial thing-which-yeah.

I don't know, 4HD or something, 3 x bite (1d8), droning preaching (DC 15 Save or stop and listen closely, then a DC 15 Save or switch to Catholicism/Law OR take metaphysical damage each round, with +1D damage for non-Lawful characters)

in Into the Odd, pretty easy to stat out.  15 HP, 2 Armor, the attacks are pretty straightforward as 1d6 or 1d12 if the victim is forced to listen to the spiel.  A failed save means the victim takes (in our little game tonight) 1d8 SAN damage in addition to HP loss when the droning, Latinate chanting begins.

RRAAAAARRRGHLAAG PLEASE TURN TO GOSPEL OF ST ROCH CHAPTER 4 VERSE 73, AND LO, JUDAS ISCARIOT WENT UNTO ANTIOCH AND MADE WAR UPON THE DAUGHTERS CHOMP CHOMP WAGNAGHL OF NAPTHALENE AND YEA VERILY BLAH BLAH BLAH IN NOMINE PATRI ET SPIRITU BAALZEBOOOV FEAR NOT FOR THE END IS NIGH AND REPENT REPENT REPENT GIVE UNTO US WHAT IS CAESAR'S AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH SNICKERSNACK

And with the firey eyes and the chomping of glistening golden vorpal miter-teeth and then you are dragged below to do penance and never receive charity

XSOLO1 - Lathan's Gold

You may have guessed that I am a fan of solo games and gamebooks.  My mom and dad started me off on this with Choose Your Own Adventure Books and the various knock-offs, since like a lot of kids back then I was into fantasy and sci-fi because of Star Wars.

Flash forward a couple of cartoon- and comic-soaked years later, add a dash of Moldvay and AD&D and stir it in a crummy neighborhood in Miami and you get me, bored and needing a game. What I got were the BSOLO and XSOLO modules - the former I've raved about and the latter I'd like to rave about, now, despite some of its flaws.

XSOLO1 - titled Lathan's Gold, is the Expert Set answer to The Ghost of Lion Castle. Of the two, BSOLO is my preference, but upon digesting the thing for 30 years I find Lathan's Gold to be a masterwork of solo gameplay. It has a couple of flaws - it's somewhat dry and spare but I imagine this is owing to the format. It's a standard TSR module with 3 columns and it needed to house rules for encounters and movement.  the scope of it is fairly broad (the Sea of Dread!) and although Lathan's story is foremost it is replayable via use of pregenerated PCs (each has a quest of their own) and random PCs the player might bring to the "table".  It's put together so that time pressure and resource management are serious concerns, which is something I found I liked when I encountered Barbarian Prince only a short time after.

You can sail around, get lost, encounter pirates and monsters, get sucked into a vast whirlpool. Experience a mutiny.  Trade with locals, hire sailors and marines and other NPCs. Dig up buried treasure, fight a bandit leader to the death over a woman. Climb a gold-spewing volcano.  The sheer number of things that can happen is very impressive given the space constraints and I wonder what might have been left on the cutting room floor.  It could even be used as a basis for a Sea of Dread campaign if the DM used it as the guide (culminated with the exploration of the Isle of Dread, naturally!)

I've given some thought to making an alternative quest list for the thing, since the 6 main quests can be rather played out in a rainy afternoon. But you know what?  That would maybe appeal to me and like 2 other people on the planet (not a good reason not to do it, I know).

It is frankly the basis of my next DCC solo module, in which an adventure for thieves is wrapped up in a high-seas hijinks kind of thing.  The focus will be on complex emergent solo play, of which XSOLO1 and Barbarian Prince are my favorite classical examples, and I think maybe the Kabuki Kaiser stuff is the best free-wheeling recent example.  This may sound weird but I always sort of enjoyed the desperate, charts and maps thing that Lathan's Gold offered. I may try to get ahold of Midnight on Dagger Alley and Thunderdelve Mountain, also.

alright, back to the workaday world.

New DCC/RPG Projects

A one trick pony am I:  I announce another DCC Solo Gamebook in the works right now.  I know, I know.

The other thing (probably first) is a multiplayer follow-up to HHSOLO 1, with some satirical Black Humor for good measure.  Political commentary.  Since it seems the way of things, I think my layout will go easier if going forward I just shoot for 6x9 format for everything - this presents both freedoms and constraints, but at least I won't need to retrofit a book down from 8.5x11, again.  I think since the demand was high, everything going forward will be paper first, and digital as a bonus or freebie.

The second thing is HHSOLO2, a solo DCC book just for Thieves.  Of course, now I know what works and what don't, I won't necessarily limit it to just Thieves, but thieving may be the focus of it.  Sure, there'll be a little bit for everybody but you'll not get deep down to the Heart of the Thing unless you're a Thief.

ominous foreshadowing?

This isn't going to be just hard in the way that HHSOLO1 is, it'll also TEST your Thieving Skills, and similar to a couple of other old-timey gamebooks there'll be a system of memory (maybe just a check-list) and I'm saying I don't mind bragging about stealing liberally from some of the concepts laid out in Mad Monks of Kwantoom by +Kabuki Kaiser.  Which, really, is maybe the most curry-filled and exotic thing I think I've ever played around with in bits and snippets.  And, I point out, I haven't looked at a single Secret without being directed to do so directly.

I will work on my 40K table and the Genestealer Cult here and there, as I am able.  And I'm running a Purple Planet game biweekly starting a month ago or so, and it appears to be taking of (at least on paper).

A to Zpace Dungeon: B is for Barrow

No reason not to keep on with my theme of choice, namely low-fantasy, tomb-robbing, post-apocalyptic Ice Pirates in the Barrowmaze thing that grabs my own attention, these days.  Tell me if you grow weary, O Reader!

Using the handy Dungeon World flavored on-the-fly generator by the ezsteemed +Jason Lutes (See his awesome blog and stuff OVER HERE NOW) I discovered in some musty scroll-case in the hands of a dead Tcho-Tcho, I made this for you, today.  Themes were: Transformation, Criminal Activity, Divination/Scrying, Chaos/Destruction, Tricks and Traps, and ALL IS LOST.

It was built by some cult and functions not just as a burial site, but also as a Portal!

The Barrow of the Pyrocaustic Eye

When the party arrives, they find that Rocket-Bikes are parked outside the entrance way, 1d4+1 of them to be exact (these may be worth money in and of themselves!).  This represents the number of tomb-robbers present in the complex, give or take an extra rider on one of the bikes as needed. In Space Dungeon games, the one-shot dungeons are generally claims so that means that these folks are claim-jumpers and fair game for harsh extermination but YMMV.  A funny twist could be that they are distant descendants of the inhabitants of the tomb, and are there on legitimate business.  No matter, all but one are dead in convenient fashion.

The place has strange topology.  The corridors near 6 and 4 are linked, and 9 and 4 as well - meaning travelling the length of these corridors will take one in an almost Moebius-strip fashion to the opposite point but on the ceiling.  The decor is such that the transition is seamless and without interruption, and no one can tell what has happened without a landmark of some kind.  Ought to be easy enough to sort out but possibly disorienting and who knows what kinds of metaphysical effects occur when these things happen - does your left hand become your right?

Alcoves in the walls are similar to Barrowmaze. Between any two points (with the below admonition) determine how many alcoves there are with a d100 - round up to the nearest 10.  Each PC or meatshield can search 10 alcoves per turn.  Each turn the random monster check is a 1d6, and a 5 or 6 incurs a random encounter.  Each turn spent searching, or any noise or party squabbling or discussion, incurs a +1 penalty to the roll.  It starts over again after each encounter.

Random Search Results, per 10 alcoves: (d12)
1. Ultrabronze Axe Money - money shaped as partial Ultrabronze ingots, hacked by laser or waterjet into crude rectangular chips, threaded in 5's or 10's.  Worth 1 credit each (1d20)
2. Jade Skull Tokens - self-explanatory.  Maybe the size of a marshmallow.  Worth 50 credits, each.
3. Ivory and Turquoise tablet - prayers to the Pyrocaust and glimpses into the End of All Things.  Reading too many of these (with magic or computer assist) will incur a minor corruption in that the reader will have terrible nocturnal visions of bleeding eyes, scorched landscapes, and supernovae. Worth 200+1d4x25 each.
4. Opal Amulet - Opal gives prophetic visions.  In this case, some ominous writing and worth 100 credits
5.  Peridot wristband - Peridot gives glimpses of alternate possible futures, in which the seller receives 200 credits
6. Fluorite Earrings or Noseplug (1d2 for either) - Fluorite channels energy, and these are worth 50 credits
7. Amethyst and silver facial jewelry - extra holes needed to accommodate these piercing jewelries.  100 gp each.  Amethyst will provide visions under the right circumstances.
8. Amber-encased insect or subcreature - 25 gold each.  Possibly sound genetic sample lies deep inside, awaiting the chance to cause ecological havok.  Amber generates light and heat.
9. Bronze or Silver Torc - weighty and could be used as a weapon in a pinch.  75 credits.
10. Liftwood club (a macahuitl), with meteorological obsidian chips for blades.  Wicked deadly, causes fantastic wounds and 1d14 damage OR 1d6 damage and the opportunity to re-roll initiative for that PC.  The crit range is 19 or 20.  Only find this one once.  It is light, drilled with holes for speed, and an ominous prophecy is carved on the sides in relief, depicting demons devouring the stars and planets.  You may go mad if you read this too many times.  Possibly priceless.  I suggest 2000 credits as a lump sum but the Gods will chortle if you give this up.  Maybe not so effective against Robots at the judge's discretion.
11.  A singed scroll with a level 1 Wizard OR Cleric spell, usable as normal but not easy to decipher.
12.  A prophetic coin - Leering Quantum Jaguar Who Devours Quasars is depicted on the obverse.  The instructions on the reverse, in a long-dead language.  Offer it to the undead things here, and they will answer your query with full knowledge but the thing will come to pass irrevocably damaged by burning, withering, or ionizing radiation.  They will speak to the user telepathically.  If used on the Pyrocaustic Eye, a dangerous Phlogiston Disturbance will occur and the topology of the structure will rationalize instantaneously (for starters) and then resolve the disturbance as per the text, or if you're brave use the Purple Planet charts!

Random Encounter (d10 - determine 1d2 if the encounter is on the floor or relative ceiling!)
1) A pyrocaust cultist, re-animated.  He/she trudges down the hall, empty sockets blazing with fire, burial shroud singed and smoking.  Relatively wimpy, but two touch attacks will burn with Aether Fire for 1d4 points additional damage with no save - if both hand attacks hit, then the victim has a bleak and searing vision of his/her/its homeworld reduced to cinders.
2) Dead Looter (up to the number determined).  Eye sockets burned into hollow ragged holes.  Surrounded by 2 loot items as per the chart above.
3) Ghostly voices whispering about pyromaniacal events
4) A radiation hot zone erupts, causing 1d10 burn damage or half on a succesful DC 14 Fort save.  A geiger counter will detect the spike before it occurs and the party can move to safety without harm if they have one (indicators on radsuits and vac-suits will ping or turn color suddenly)
5) A looter runs past, oriented on the relative ceiling, fleeing screaming and on fire.  He takes a round and falls to the ground, smoking and sputtering until his corpse erupts into white flame and disappears.  This only happens if there are sufficient remaining looters - else reroll.
6)  A sound TOK TOK TOK TOK TOK erupts in some far-off hall some distance from the party
7)  The wall begins to glow white hot and emit strange radiation that allows viewing through it - see some unexplored area the party has not yet explored within the complex.
8)  An ashen demonthing, Level 1 in the DCC text on page 401.  It is subject to the prophecy coins, and will attack otherwise and seek to carry off some PC to an extradimensional zone and flay and brand and worse.  If not destroyed or successful in kidnapping, it may be encountered again.
9)  A floating skull-drone.  Harmless.  Will tell the story of whomever is nearest in an alcove and move down the hall.  The prophecy coin can be used to over-ride its programming and it will answer in the same manner
10)  A ceiling-mounted (possibly the floor) laser swings out and delivers a warning blast to d4 party members, for 1d8 damage, but a DC 15 Reflex save will negate it.

The numbered areas are these:
1) Trinkets.  Ultrabronze and bone/shell hairpins (maybe a nose-pin).  Discarded in haste.  Footprints in the dust go further down the hall.  Signs of crowbar damage.  Some looted alcoves have the remains strewn disrespectfully on the hallway floor.  A long-bone is somehow on the ceiling, here.
2) Supplies. A small pick, made of plasteel.  The handle is cracked and it ought not be trusted for hard use.
3) Chopping Trap - a macahuitl mechanism erupts from the floor AND the ceiling - these 2 rows of 3 are synthoak and silver-inset blades, covered with dried blood.  They will hit any character who fails a DC 9 Reflex Save for 2d10 points.  TOK TOK TOK TOK TOK
4) Pit Trap - a hole opens wide below. Suddenly the floor is no longer there, in a quantum sense.  Some long-ago determinate state has collapsed and you hang in mid-air for a moment.  If you are unable to grab the edge, or are not tied to a friend and also fail a DC 16 Reflex Save, then fall into a randomly determined Phlogiston Disturbance.  (note: try not to make it instantly lethal, your Judge-ship)
5) Oddity - The Pyrocaustic Globe-Eye:  It sees all things, and is a local manifestation of the Jaguar That Will Come at The End of Time.  It will gleefully take Prophecy Coins, manifest the Phlogiston Event in the most damaging way possible, and the wink out with a thunderclap. Don't touch it, or else you are burned to cinders and what comes back is like you, but without a tongue, and it's bonded to Obitu-Que in addition to whatever Patrons your previous incarnation had.
6) Blasted skeletons in a loose circle
7) An oracle.  You must be an unmutated Aerethian, possibly descended from the lords of ancient Aereth that commisioned this place (Halflings, Humans, Elves or Dwarves only).  A 3 point Sta loss of blood manifests if you touch this Ultra-bronze scorpion-like device; it quivers for a moment, and a graceful pedipalp whips out to take a blood sample.  If you pass the genetic test (automatic for the character types described), then you are offered some vision of yourself; burned and scarred but powerful and vengeful, atop a stone pyramid with a solar eclipse behind you.  You toss a head down the stairs of the pyramid and see that it is ...
8) A dying looter, poisoned, bleeding, and scorched.  He has 3 loot rolls worth of goods.  He won't last long unless healed of 3 points of damage.  If the party wishes, they may acquire a untrustworthy but absolutely loyal (to the character that saves him) 1st level Chaotic thief as a follower or backup character.  His look matches the flattened foreheads and filed-down teeth of those in the pictoglyphs that surround you, here.  He also has a dataslate that offers the coordinates for this Barrow but no other information.
9) Texts/Prophecies - 2 Level 3 spell scrolls, either one of which (and only one) may be copied by a Wizard into her spellbook
10) An Ultrabronze Statue - The outstretched arm of a muscular warrior defiantly gestures to the approaching party to retreat.  He appears to be wildly dangerous and his head-wear suggests a crackling pre-supernova sun, somehow.  His pierced nose has an adamantium spike through it.  There is an actual skeleton interred within this thing, and it will radiate evil and chaotic magic, but will not interact with the party in any manner except to warn it away. This may be a long-dead god, or some depiction of one yet to be
11)  The abode of 12.5 Quicksilver Panther - he is a cyclopean skeletal high priest, an Eye of Fear and Flame, without the Flame.  He yearns for discussion and news from outside.  He will answer honestly any questions put to him with the prophecy coin, but will resent it, and will do his best to obfuscate otherwise.  Any attacks or transgressions will generate a teleport attack, with the offender being teleported away d100 miles unless they save vs magic.  He is not above teleporting the offender UP if they are also rude.  He will propose a walk down the hall for a while, and it will be hard to put him off.  He will offer a Patron Bond to this area's local manifestation of some evil Patron (whatever the player might desire, but an evil and/or chaotic version of it) - this is a one-time offer and only open to those one will stroll a complete circuit of the complex with him and discuss teleological philosophy and end-times.  He lets on that he knows the End is Nigh - but will gleefully withhold concrete details.

I don't think I can keep up this pace for the whole A to Z Challenge!

Tomorrow: Cairn Golems!

A to Z kickoff: Space Opera Item 1

The Altarspace Apparatus for DCC

Space Dungeon flavored (but transportable to other settings)

a DC 12 item to activate: the action die for clerics is a d20, for everyone else it's a d14.

This is a non-descript box with a toggle switch and a flashing indicator. It is a simple but powerful hyperspace generator, attached to a tachyon communicator system on the extra-dimensional side.  It exists semi-permanently within its own continuity and complex mood detecting intelligences scan the user and comrades when in use. Depending upon the user's alignment, the following pertain:

The toggle switch activates it and the air hums serenely (Law), coolly (Neutral), or ominously (Chaos).  The indicator flashes 3 times, twice, then once and a strobe of light escapes and the user and any allies are now in a low, dimly lit room with religious trappings appropriate to the user's alignment.

If a non-cleric, the space exists long enough to pray, collect one's self and bandage a wound.  Comforting music and noises surround the party, depending.  Then the indicator light flashes in a 3/2/1 pattern and the entire surroundings vanish again, leaving the users at precisely the moment and orientation in space-time at which they activated it.  It will not recharge again for use until 1d6+1 days have passed.  Items left in the space will be available in real-space as if they were not dropped in the extra-dimensional area.

if the user is a Cleric or other Ordained minister of some religion, then the device actually opens a chapel!  The chapel is furnished in the tasteful (or whatever) trappings of whatever God or Gods the cleric worships. There will always be some simple (non-spell) text of the deity in the space, as well as a single vial's worth of holy/unholy/sacred water.  In addition, if the cleric has need of it, a standard holy symbol is available.

The space allows a communing with the God at an advantage, and an attempt may be made to do within the space , or the cleric may cast a spell of choice that he or she knows and is available at that time.  Roll two action dice and take the best, but incur disfavor for any failures regardless of success or failure overall.

If a fumble is ever rolled, then the device burns out and may not ever be used again.  If a Double Fumble (with the advantage die, you see) is rolled, the. A Phlogiston Disruption results

Go Forth and Do Their Biddings Subcreature

Sargon, DCC Patron

Subcreatures, Spring Hath Arrived and I'm between jobs, and relaxing except for money and with relaxation comes creation.

I've made Sargon of Lion Castle into a Patron for DCC, sort of a middling level one, with a good amount of risk to balance your rewards.  I don't particularly subscribe to the "only one God/Patron" view, so my idea is that you ought to be able to take up to your limit in Invoke X of different flavors, provided you're okay with all the stuff that could go wrong.  Of course, this means a rather Vancian notion of "swap out spells as needed" change to the vanilla DCC rules, and it's between you and your Judge how it goes if a Patron gets jealous - I do believe that some ought to get jealous by their natures.  Also, I don't particularly believe that Patrons need to have a 1-2-3 level spell and different burns and taints; this one just naturally kind of fell that way... But I note that provided you don't mind the "Manimal approach", Sargon gives you access to the Polymorph spell at level 3 rather than 4, with some limitations.  To my mind, if you want to risk casting a level 4 spell at level 1, then I say GO FOR IT for such are heroes forged, yes?  He's not so powerful, for example, as Dr. Chapman from Daniel Bishop's Creeping Beauties Series

For Sargon's part, I think he'd be cool with it, provided you don't abuse cats or anything, but even Lions don't look out for Tigers if you get my meaning.  It occurs to me this is a very '80s Patron.  If you're curious, the next one will be The Ancient Spirits of Evil from Thundercats, tossed around in a bowl with some Cthulhoid entities and Clark Ashton Smith gods.  Also, I have a Luchador class with a magic variant in the works!

YOU ARE ALL SARGON'S HEIRS