The Kids are Alright

#blacklivesmatter

I think the statements by WoTC about their product is terrific. I especially think that the statement by the Warhammer Community about GW's thing is especially terrific. Why? Well, for example 40K is rife with prose, visual art, and philosophy that glorifies violence, authoritarianism, bigotry, and hatred. So if you're a young lad not steeped in the traditions of Reagan and Thatcher and can't recall that Rogue Trader was a scifi/fantasy game deeply entrenched in anti-authoritarianism, you might get the impression that telegraphing those messages in the fiction is tacit endorsement of those philosophies. If you can't clearly delineate between reality and fantasy, you might think that the slaughter of The Other as depicted in the fiction is A Good Thing. Sure, we Old Fellers (listen I'm 45 and you should never ever ever trust anybody over 30 kids, especially not a charismatic clever artiste who has plenty of money and a fascination for half-his-age girls but I digress)

(remind me somebody to integrate my wargaming blog into Hapless Henchman)

Sure we Old Fellers clearly understand that NO no no! No people are inherently bad or good in the Real World. That nuance and those grey areas are of course what real life is like. That these great geniuses we hold dear who thought these things up whole cloth, like Gygax, like that guy Zak, like Ellis, they didn't STEAL those ideas so they could make money and get laid! No! They were in it for something else. Like the principle of the thing. Gary wanted you to question authority, home rule things, and definitely photocopy your books to share freely with other kids - the ideas were what mattered to Gary. He just wanted you to think for yourself. We don't give a fig where Arneson or that nice lady with the small-press ideas was taking things. For example.

I seen about 4 blog posts this AM linked from twitter that were direct responses to WoTC's statement. And you know what? I'm 45. I been doing DnD for about 80% of my life, give or take. Star Wars, too. You kids take it and run with it. Get rid of race. Get rid of racial bonuses. I find I prefer things like Into the Odd where those things aren't even posed in the text and if you want them, inject them, but you don't need to eject anything. it's not broken by design. It doesn't depend upon these old crusty Anglophile Middle-Class Country Gentleman ways. If DnD was a clever and funner offshoot of that old white guy's 'game of kriegspiel or whatever, GREAT.  I remember when 5e was approaching I was like "ehhhhh, who cares, I got mine" and a couple of folks on G+ said "hahahaha old man! you protest too much!" and I was hurt then, but the reality is that DnD is no longer mine. It might have been a long time ago, but better things have come. They took me a long time to find. DnD is big, and it's for the kids. Let the woke kids have DnD. They will make it theirs and it'll be better in the grand scheme of things than what a controlling, patronizing, paternalistic authoritarian balding, reactionary, overweight, swindling white dude wanted you to play. I'm not saying the dude wasn't multifaceted - hey man the thing is more nuanced than that. He wasn't an Orc, for example. Nobody's all bad, right?

Stay woke, kids. Fuck these menopausal old guys and their pearl-clutching. Do crime/Be Gay. Burn it down and what you drag out of the ruins will be better than what (in their hubris) The Ancients made. Get suspicious of anybody that gets nervous if you don't spout off about how great the brand is.

   

Tablesmith Retro-Kitchen Sink Dungeon

I dunno. Like, the question is: If I tell the pseudorandom generator to make me a couple of dozen rooms of a dungeon, if I steal all the bits from 10 different places 'n' gussy it up with whatever I can from my own head, does that mean I made the dungeon? Or did I just author the code? I don't know. I can't tell anymore, but after generating a thousand thousand rooms, checking this code for glitches and undesirable bits, jiggering numbers around, editing links and all the other minutiae, here is a thing that comes burbling to the surface of my screen, which you may have, if you promise to NOT drink that 5th cup of coffee. It's empowered by the 3.5 DMG, the 1e DMG, Ruins of the Undercity, Paranoia, Call of Cthulhu, Mutant Future, Gamma World 1e, I don't know what else... this is 10 rooms of weirdness for you.

1. The entryway to the dungeon is: a broken collosal war machine, will Dimensional distortion - Height/Depth - seems larger than maps suggest (multiply dimensions by d10x100 feet) if awoken, hidden pre-historic coins of plasticrete worth 367 gold, and a trap: yellow mold.
2. Hidden treasure, here: 140 gold .
3. This room was once a well. Within it, there is a chute and an animal nest.
4. 8 Chicken Wolves, a screen, and a trap: Undeath Glyph - Awaken all undead, turn nearby recent dead into zombies.
5. This irradiated Cleric still has its chainmail hauberk on and a Staff in its hands.
6. There is a pillars of scrutiny: if diverge from some particular random Alignment, then judged and causes Door, resisting - needs a DC 17 Strength check to open here, and a trap: Door, resisting - needs a DC 17 Strength check to open. (I didn't say it was perfect! far from it)
7. This room is spotlessly clean and free of dust. In the corner, there is a grinder.
8. 3 Tcho-Tcho guard Mirror of Life Trapping and antique coins worth 585 gold .
9. An abandoned storage area, with Cryo-tube, containing possessed Necromancer.
10. Mostly empty and clean, this room smells of ozone.

I'd play it. I guess some dismal part of my brain has played it a couple of times, now. It only doesn't make sense if you think too hard about it! My plan is to generate a hundred or so of these a week for a while, and then edit it into some reasonably playable thing (the above is pretty raw)

Fight the Power