An Asemic Dungeon: A Cut Up or Something

I have said these days that I've internalized so many dungeons, so many room descriptions, so many awful terse prose prompts for play that when I think "dungeon" it is fair to say mine looks a little like yours, probably, but maybe more 4-bit, more hard-edged, less organic and impossibly cluttered with other peoples' ideas. Reading a great deal of surrealist/dadaist things and of course, im no magician. my dungeons look like the hellish pits beneath Alpha Complex wherein sulky robots go to fret about irrational numbers and their unhappy inability to taste things. Above, the infrared citizens go about their dull routines and every so often an adventurous young clone peels back a ventilation grill and vanishes into... the aether? Ur-Space? The Dungeon Dimension? the arthaus Ravenloft's weird sprawling undercity? Yes. all those places 

HEY HANDSOME IF YOU CAN HEAR ME COME TO SECTOR 3, SUBSECTION 8 AND LETS MAKE OUT. I miss Holloway, I guess. Really I do.

I cannot escape what is mine and what is theirs and so I have but a scratching of some of mine into the machine and i press GO and I hope for the best. Mine would be tedious and so these are tedious, but at least I cannot be held accountable for what a machine produces (for example .various automated car manufacturers would deny culpability for deaths caused by their algorithms and so I declare myself not responsible for the deaths of any PCs or NPCs that may venture into a thing I might make with this code). There is no sense or plan, only whatever semblance you inject. I named it the first interesting thing that it made, and so let that be your guide.

 THE HELPFUL SHARD DUNGEON

LEVEL ONE: PLEASE GENERATE YOUR OWN MAP

1. There is Whistle of Helpful Shard and antique coins worth 325 GP concealed here, in stone caskets.
2. The room has a patches of green slime. The trap is attached to a stairs up.
3. Strongly flowing air, here. There is also a lantern.
4. Mostly empty and clean, this room smells dusty.
5. There are 4 Morlock Warriors and an elevator, in this room.
6. It is very dusty, here. The dust is recently disturbed.
7. There are sproutings of luminescent fungi, here.
8. There is a pit - it is effectively bottomless, or else the bottom goes to Ethereal Plane and hidden Potion of Philter of Love and 10 Black Opal 1000gp, here.
9. There is Scroll of Treasure Map (Value 2 gems, 11 jewelry) concealed here, loose.
10. There is a rotten flesh smell in this room.

LEVEL TWO: PLEASE GENERATE YOUR OWN MAP OR NOT

1. The room has a Nausea Gas. The whole party makes DC 13 Constitution save or roll -2d for initiative and -1d for Actions for 1 turns. The trap is attached to a seemingly-innocuous hook.
2. There is a parking lot with 8 rusted-out automobiles or skimmers. The entry-gate is non-functioning. puddle of liquids that is probably infectious and hidden antique coins worth 818 GP , here.
3. There are sproutings of luminescent fungi, here.
4. Dretch, a relief, and hidden treasure antique coins worth 1088 GP .
5. A Blinding Gas. The victim is blinded for 4 turns, DC 20 Constitution save keeps the antique coins worth 427 GP safeguarded.
6. There is a rotten garbage smell in this room.
7. Worg subtype T-Virus, a manger, and hidden treasure A Nickel Silver nosering, worth 600 gold coins.
8. There are Shocker Lizard and a chest, holding a needle that never bends, in this room.
9. There is a trash disintegrator unit. The party can receive 5 gold/AL in antique coins for worhtless items here.
10. This small room includes a shelves of supplies.

LEVEL THREE

PLEASE TRY MAYBE DONJON.SH or SOMETHING

HERE, the map spreads out into immense caverns dotted with laser-hewn rooms and laboratories, with flickering overhead lights and coolant pipes

1. This room has a server room with 27 humming server machines and 6 artificial intelligences.
2. Footprints, barefoot..
3. Cold air, here. There is also a mop.
4. This room has a matter replicator device.
5. The room has a Falling Ceiling Block. The 1d3 unluckiest PCs get a DC 14 Dexterity save or take 2d12 damage . The trap is attached to a stairs down.
6. This room has an office supply storage facility. Fire extinguishers, long-expired.
7. This room has a hypersleep sauroid pen with 8 Large Dinosaurs in stasis.
8. A Lowering Ceiling. Find the mechanism with DC 17 Intelligence check in 4 rounds or everyone will die keeps the antique coins worth 1410 GP safe.
9. 6 Mants subtype Cyber, hidden 1031 GP in sealed sarcophagi, and a trap: Retractable Laser Turret attacks as Level 3 Magic Missile.
10. 2 Spider Swarms guard scale(lbs.) Functions on 1-19 in 20. The treasure is locked in iron trunks.
11. There is a broken collosal war machine, will place victim in temporal stasis for d10 turns if awoken here, trapped with Retractable Laser Turret attacks as Level 3 Magic Missile.
12. There is 2445 GP concealed here, in aluminum gear crates.
    
13. 2 Androids, a wall basin, and a trap: Retractable Laser Turret attacks as Level 3 Magic Missile.
14. The metal surfaces of this room are well-polished.
15. Harpy, a recess, and a trap: Arrow Trap. The party sustains d20+5 attacks with 1d6 damage.
16. Janni guard coins worth 623 GP. The treasure is locked in iron trunks.
17. The room has a 40 foot deep pit. The trap is attached to a stairs up.
18. An abandoned storage area, with Cryo-tube, containing a possessed Necromancer.
19. The party can encounter 3 Spider Swarms, here.
20. Displacer Beast subtype T-Virus, a loom, and hidden treasure 1456 GP.
21. Graffiti here says BEYOND THIS POINT, 2 Night Gaunts ATE Edgar Glitchon in luridly colored-paint.
22. There are Gargoyle and a tapestry, in this room.
23. 12 Gamma Meerkats, an ore smelter, and hidden treasure Potion of Oil of Slipperiness and coins worth 492 GP.
24. The lights flicker on and off above a stretch of cubicles. There is also wide-screen video monitor.
25. There are 4 Skum and a stairs up, in this room.
26. There is a small plasmic energy core - the room is bathed in low-intensity radiation here.
27. This average room has Phantasmal Killer, forcing a DC 14 Wisdom save or Die, but if passed the victim still gains Paranoia. The trap is attached to a ledge.
28. There is a hypersleep sauroid pen with 4 Large Dinosaurs in stasis and hidden 2460 GP, here.
29. The room contains Young White Dragon subtype Chaos and a patches of green slime.
30. The room has a patches of russet mold. The trap is attached to a seemingly-innocuous BEYOND THIS POINT, Janni ATE Euphemia Bumpstone in luridly colored-paint.
31. The room has a Vacuum Chamber - within 6 turns, the breathable air from this area and nearby 2 rooms is evacuated. The trap is attached to a elevator.
32. A patches of shriekers and violet fungi keeps the 1035 GP safeguarded.
33. 2 Ghouls subtype Shadow, a platform, and a trap: Poisoned Caltrops, which must be avoided with a DC 14 Dexterity save or party members 1d6 damage and 1d4 Constitution damage poison.
34. A magic mouth recites a dire warning in several languages and telepathically, containing antique coins worth 2090 GP . The treasure is floating in trillium-laced caskets and safeguarded with poisoned needles in handles.
35. Gargoyle guard Identity Card Functions on 1-16 in 20. The treasure is loose.
36. Janni subtype Corrupted, hidden Scroll of Treasure Map (Value 3 magic items, +1 potion) and antique coins worth 1545 GP tied in bags, and a trap: yellow mold.
37. A patches of green slime keeps the 355 GP safeguarded.
38. A patches of shriekers and violet fungi keeps the 18 Amber 100gp safeguarded.
39. The room contains 1 Sporers subtype Mecha and a Mummy Rot Powder. The party must pass DC 13 Constitution save or all be cursed as per a mummy.
40. Minotaur Zombie subtype Frost, an altar, and hidden treasure paint brush Nonfunctional.
41. A dusty maintenance area, with Napkins and wet-naps, from previous decade. Various franchises.
42. There is antique coins worth 2335 GP concealed here, in aluminum gear crates.
43. There are 2 Lantern Archons and a recess, in this room.
44. This cavernous room includes a 37 high-strength storage barrels full of stale ale.
45. The party can encounter 4 Grimlocks, here.
46. There is Scroll of Treasure Map (Value 1 magic item) and antique coins worth 1617 GP concealed here, loose.
47. The party will encounter a Centipede Swarm subtype Toxic, in this average room.
48. This giant chamber has Falling Stones. The victims take 2d6 damage each. The trap is attached to a seemingly-innocuous broken glass.
49. Ethereal Marauder guard antique coins worth 1689 GP . The treasure is stuffed into sacks.
50. The party can encounter 3 Ghouls, here.
    

Trillium is an alloy that negates approximately the same amount of volume of mass in the calculation of an object's weight. It is not dense, and so a trillium-inscribed object, or an object with trillium workings, will weigh much much less than normal.

I am not recalling what a Skum or a Mant is. I think they are from Gamma World.

Go forth. I have some code for maps, but they don't turn out very pretty and so you would best be served with a full-featured random map generator, or somebody like Dyson or something.   

On Parasocial Relationships: a quandary

There are things that are timely. Timely parallels that make us think. I find as the weather cools off, I love to go out at night and just piss freely into the night air, because there is no fear of being seen, no fear of offending, no fear of getting piss on anybody. Somebody could be hiding in the hedge, but if you come sneaking up to the hedge, getting pissed on is (in some places) the least thing you need fear. Other things are timely: I have a reaction to this pearl clutching about decorum and the moral high ground and let me just tell you: decorum is the tool of oppression. They tell victims to be easy, to go gently, to not stir up the pot. Lets not act too hastily, my dear, the guy has always been nice to me and after all, he's the President! If you bring these allegations to the public awareness, they might damage his JOB PROSPECTS so here's a fucktonne of money let's just avoid this whole unseemly business, shall we?

The word sigil... has a long history in Western magic. The members of the Golden Dawn were perfectly familiar with it (″combining the letters, the colours, the attributions and their Synthesis, thou mayest build up a telesmatic Image of a Force. The Sigil shall then serve thee for the tracing of a Current which shall call into action a certain Elemental Force″) and it was used in the making of talismans. The sigil was like a signature or sign of an occult entity.^[4]T

Well fuck a bunch of that fucking noise. If you see a bad actor, don't be a broken stair. Say something and say it fucking loud and plain so we can end this MF cycle of intergenerational abuse. 

The same parasocial relationship I have with Trump that I had with Zak: also a manipulative abuser from what i have heard and experienced. I turn and find a sinister intruder at my very pleasant picnic... again... I hustle the motherfucker out  HIT THE ROAD YOU VACUOUS NASTY CUNT...again... I turn and there he is, his dumb rich face and loud fucking mouth leering at me and my friends the way that certain songs on the radio can be cool once or twice but then you’re all O SHIT ITS HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH AGAIN LEMME TURN THIS B OFF and you turn the channel and HOLD MY HAND but like it’s titties and blood, or like the windswept entitled loud fake hair of a tantruming 80 year old man who just knows he's right he went to all the best schools LIKE ALL THE all the fucking time on every fucking channel until psychically and spiritually and magickally in a sigil sense like Austin Ausman Spare sense I’m punching his mouth until he’s not in my head and every so often someone comes along and like O MAN HES ALWAYS BEEN NICE TO ME or HES JUST TRYING TO DO HIS JOB or NANCY PELOSI IS JUST AS BAD

But the guy on the radio is like UP NEXT DID YOU HEAR ABOUT VORNHEIM THAT SHIT IS THE BOMB or ZAK IS POLLING AT 73% FAVORABLE SO YOU SHOULD GET ON HIS MF KICKSTARTER LOSER THIS FUCKING BOOK HAS GOOOOOOLD LEAAAAAAAF LETS GO

In my head, some rococo nightmare, octopii, tridents, plunging spears, splayed fig leaves, alabaster, gold leaf, veiny cocks like marble, jewel-encrusted toilets, tiddies splayed widely in some makeup-encrusted mockery of intimacy and youth and romance and fecundity

He comes down the golden escalator, sniffing, high on his own power, encased in an aura of psychotropic alkaloids, giddy with what he has done, with what he can do, the crowd fucking loves him. he doesn't give a fuck for any of them, except that they spread the word and cheer his name. he would just as soon shit on you as look at you, or casually murder your whole family so as to quicken a favorable real estate deal. 

It’s like HOW MANY TIMES CAN I MUTE AWARENESS OF THIS MOTHERFUCKER WHO REPRESENTS A MANIFESTATION OF EVERYTHING I LOATHE BEFORE I JUST COME OUT SWINGING Not necessarily his lamentable ideas that were at issue (gradually revealed to be the underpinnings of malignant narcissism it is alleged but never proved because the evidence has vaporized somehow and noone comes forward) but their OMNIPRESENCE and i watch in horror as otherwise sensible people who i like nod YES TRUMP YES TRUMP GIMME THAT GOLD LEAF AND THAT ABSOLUTELY UNPLAYABLE BULLSHIT ARTHAUS GRANT MORRISON PROTOFASCIST BULLSHIT GOBBLEDYGOOK

Zak was a sinister force in my opinion and an active part of the dismantling of a nice community I enjoyed, but Trump is infinitely worse because he has real power and no redeeming features whatsoever. Zak is a talented artist, a powerful magician, a superhuman android, and (some friends have told me) he was always nice to me.  Well, not me, he was a bit of a cunt to me personally. But to them. But I react the same way that all people who have experienced trauma react when they get that smell of danger from something of a certain type the heart rate quickens eyes dilate breathing deepens and your LETS GO MUSCLES get up and got up and went and suddenly, suddenly, you're typing at someone at 3:00AM like JESUS FUCK PLEASE I CANT HANDLE TO HEAR OR THINK OF THIS MANIAC ANYMORE PLEASE FUCK OFF OR I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING it's a kind of psychic pressure I don't imagine is easy to convey well

I felt like that all the time at the end of G+ and I feel like that all the time with Trump’s wannabe despotic thrashings and hilariously karmic comeuppance going down right in front of us. This feeling of disbelief like HOW DID IT GET THIS BAD? WHY DIDNT SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING

Now: is the problem my parasocial relationship with the imagos of these villainous persons?, or my inability to protect myself from intrusions? perhaps: My lack of mindfulness about controlling my reaction? Or is it that these insidious motherfuckers have gamed their respective systems so that they are sometimes literally unavoidably present in my otherwise happy-go-lucky headspace? Something deep in the code of social networks makes this worse sound thinking people must agree, yes, but I argue that people ought not to be able to get authority by having bot networks or friend networks increase the “validity” of their ideas by raising the rate of circulation of their ideas which is definitely not the same thing.

Both those motherfuckers understand these concepts at the bottom and that’s why they have perverted our micro- and macro-communities and there’s the rub. When this trying time has passed, if it passes, recognize that conflict of ideas is valuable and can be productive. Conflict for the sake of page hits and money is a scam and how empires are eroded. The difference in knowing how to game the game for profit and playing the game for the sake of play and goodwill toward fellowmen and -women

Don’t fucking believe me? Watch the fucking news. The Empire mirrors the decrepitude of the Emperor until finally everybody bows out - THIS IS NO LONGER PRODUCTIVE SHUT IT DOWN 

Godspeed to Justice for all motherfucking abusers and oppressors and gatekeepers and those who pervert power for their own interests, even if they have gold toilets or went to Yale or claim to be republicans or anarchists or I don’t know just fuck the whole thing. You may say YOU HAVE CONFLATED THESE POOR PEOPLE but yes, it's my fucking website and should I prove to be mistaken in the grand scheme of things, I will retract my comments and apologize and please sir to recognize this is my ART and art is unassailable and beyond critique when it's making an artistic point and nobody can fucking question me: who the fuck do you think you are you little miserable nobody? I'm an artist. An artiste. Look at all the gilding on this page: that's MF art you peon nobody your opinion is shite. I'm drawing attention to useful parallels in the public personae of popular figures with whom I imagine I have an adversarial parasocial relationship and so this is just pissing in the dark and shouldn't be construed as impacting any REAL people, only the hilarious images they present in the ideosphere

Joesky Tax: go fuck yourself, no offense it’s not that kind of rant and I have no interest in salving your wounded ego if this pertains to you but. Man, I was going to talk about sigils and Austen Osman Spare and how to work the works INSIDE THE WORKS and maybe i ought to lay off the covfefe and take my meds, but I got sidetracked. Something about sigils. Sigils. You should check that shit out. It is deep magick and even holds up D&D in a way: you dream a thing and it becomes a real thing for you by gradually taking shape in the world, and the squiggles are there as a reminder until you forget what they were for and why your lovely emerald city situation turns into a bedraggled, rotten, hollow mess and if only we could have foreseen this lamentable situation

Totally not related, here is my anti-trump/anti-cultist rant but like i hung Zak's Trumps dumb persona on it because he was an easy target for me at the time. I freely offer it to you to turn into something for 5e or (better yet) Call of Cthulhu d20. it is chock full of unplayable Grant Morrison artsy-fartsy bullshit which would really make your players THINK and they could jerk off to it in private thinking about how great I am and my bevy of scantily clad sex-workers and how MAN i wish I knew those girls in High School but now I am successful they flock to me like a flock of heavily made-up vestals. 'Cause ART and ART is foremost and fuck goodwill in the community. Also, fuck trump and his whole crew of swindlers

Once again, I'm not attacking REAL people here, only the images of people. I'm sure he's a great guy in person. Plenty of people have said so! A couple of ladies and kooks have said he's a maniac, but nobody listens to them. They're nobody.

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Trans Rights Are Human Rights. Love is Love. The meek shall inherit the earth. Long live the fighters. power to the people long live the king the king is dead

The Otherworldly Weirdness of My Dreamland Florida

I'm not running anything, in terms of RPGs, lately. I am taking part in my buddy Eli's over-the-Zoom Ravenloft game. Is it just me or is Ravenloft lack a little bit o' bite of late? Granted, I haven't really gotten too much into the thing, yet. We're only one session in and we got beat up pretty badly in this haunted house.

The Black Lagoon - pretty near my dad's place, where I took the 3rd oath

For me, the Florida of my Youth borders directly into The Dreamlands. I often have these repetitive dreams of Florida, specifically the little parts called Miami Springs, Hialeah, and Coral Gables. There are the long tracts of nothing between Gainesville and Tallahassee, endless sprawling suburbs of Spanish-tiled rentals outside of Orlando. The dorms at University of Florida and Tallahassee which like in life seemed to me to be deathly quiet at times and spiritually empty. Often, I am in the plaza outside a Biology/Science/Botany building that doesn't really exist but might be an amalgamation of the ones i knew at Colorado State University in my time, there. I frequent simulacra of highways 826 and 836 in Miami where I learned to drive, and when I lean out the window in the howling wind and rain, I can see spiraling crypts dropping away into nothingness, rainwater pouring in. There is a version of Saint Augustine (the city, not the guy) which is stately and somber and very expensive and there I buy cast-off surplus military body-armor and scanning equipment, on my way past tourists bathing in lukewarm inlets, to the palm-coated beaches where trunks of gold coins wash up every night. Let's not tell the tourists, shall we? And don't get me started on the endless weed-choked canals where turtles, snakes, and alligators thrive and maybe we shouldn't inner-tube float down these, but we rarely lose people to the fauna in my dreams? The water is crystal clear and ice cold like the various hidden springs that my dad used to drag us to on summer weekends. Old American "indian" names. Micosoukee. Alachua, Micanopy. Ichetucknee. Apopka. I never really thought about it before. The respect that Floridians have for the indigenous people of the area is not quite reflected in the ubiquity of the names they've stolen.

When I have amassed enough snippets of morning-memory to commit them to "paper" then I have, in the past, made little settings out of them for DnD-alikes. Remind me to insert the links here for the stuff on RPGNow/DTRPG or whatever. There is often a junked-out booze-fueled armada settlement of boats, beaches where space-trash, treasure and pot-bales have washed up, long and crystal-clear swimming pools with very high diving boards, lots of undead, junk shops and spanish moss dangling from sprawling oaks. It's not unpleasant for a Dreamland, and the peninsula stretches out practically forever and there are mountains and caverns that are not filled in with water 

So anyways, Florida Guy is a subrace and there's a couple examples. A sort of mean-spirited drug-abuser type, and another couple of ones which I like better. I haven't tracked down all of them, yet. Of course, memes being what they are Florida Guy is a monster, too, and probably a religion in DnD (Chaotic Neutral, of course). LET THE OUTSIDERS THINK WHAT THEY LIKE. I think one was done by Alice Witchfire, and another by Dungeon Malcontent and another by Eternall Newbie etc etc

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/hyd7ep/oc_florida_man_human_variant/

https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/haxd78/the_floridian_a_legendary_race_of_chaostouched/

https://dungeonmalcontent.tumblr.com/post/186748779847/overpowered-and-ridiculous-the-floridian-human

I picked "Florida Guy" as my subrace for "human" in this Ravenloft game, modeled loosely on myself, my family members and this guy Ellis from Left for Dead 2, and the Scout from Team Fortress 2 but not from New York, or Boston or wherever.

Anyways, I ought to codify a little more this lush corner of Dreamland and make some money off'n it. May be best to leave it there, though.

EDIT:

Here, of course, is a link to my DTRPG publisher page where you may find some of these terrible DIY documents

Biltmore Pool, Coral Gables

Venetian Pool, also Coral Gables

The Villas, Miami Springs, frequent childhood haunt of mine long after its prime

my dad's house has an unearthly oak with amazing Spanish Moss but this isn't it

There''s not really any mechanics for tubing in OSR or DnD5e. Hmm.

She overlooks the (incongruous) pits in which the dead are enshrined in Dream-not-St-Augustine of mine

God/Arjuna/Y*Weh/Zeus/Poseidon/Aphrodite/Ba'al/Aar Bless the People of the Gulfcoast, speaking of which.

Generative Music and Dungeons

Man, I really dig setting the lad on overdrive with a loose plan in his head and seeing what comes shaking out. So, like "dungeons" are out, yeah? Meaning: I'm not really feeling it anymore. I mean who knows what I could have accomplished in this life if I hadn't come across Creepy Gary and Pervy Brian in the hallway at Faith Lutheran Elementary School in Hialeah, Miami, circa 1982? What if I hadn't spent 35 years of my life literally daydreaming about finding treasure guarded by dinosaurs in holes in the dirt?

Could I have, say, learned to play the piano? Or the guitar? or fucked around with electronics? Well, I don't know. See: DnD was always a relatively cheap hobby. I was always asthmatic and injured. When I wasn't dissociating from shitty circumstances, retreating into my own Id, I was going to school, doing shitty jobs, drinking, smoking, coffeeing up. Always tired or getting tired and fixing it with stimulants. When it was quiet: Dungeons. Dragons. Dead wizards.

So like, I incorporated my old wargaming blog (The Lasrifle and Crowquill, you may remember! or not!) into this one, and rather than just DnD, and wargames, and etc. gaming stuff, Imma hit you all up with my #DIYsynth #ambientnoise #evilrituals #demonsummoning type thing. I like to build stuff with my hands and frankly groping around in the dark is only fun as a prelude to smooching etc for me.

So far, I got a weird box of Evil Noise. Which is fun. I got a couple of guitar pedals to go with my second hand Fender knockoffs. I got a bunch of #diy electronics supplies like a soldering iron and chips and wires n resistors n potentiometers. I got a DIY pedal en route from Europa, an 8-Bitar from parasit studios

In the works at the moment are a couple of oscillators, and (the star of my personal soul-show) a Circuit-Bent Speak n Spell, otherwise known as an Incantor. Also, I think I got a line to my wife's old Commodore 64 and I will (sacreligiously) plunder it for the noise chip inside it. Probably.

...this all in addition to a great number of toy and real musical instruments and some VST instruments and effects, with the addition of Audition and a copy of Reaper and some other digital audio workstations.

Me n Carl B have been talking about "Dungeonsynth" which many people do not necesssssarily know is a thing. My favorite of the genre is Kobold HDK 07 - Curse of the Ancient Abbey, since it hits me in the C64/Red Box D&D feels

So ask Carl B what his recent foray into DungeonSynth has been maybe he kin release it (I had a taste of the pre-release mix and it's gooood), and I heard Donn Stroud's old album, too, and if making musics like this isn't your cuppa tea, then like: that's cool. Hey man, let's explore our other areas of interest together and if tangentially they hit on Dungeons, or Dragons, or burning Wizards to cinders, then cool. I got a (probably trademark infractioning) home page for my magickal musickal endeavors down the road, too.

Remind me to find the .midi files for Wizards of Wor, btw

Some generative dungeon-sploring music for you (not mine):

If you add "d3 Androids led by 1 3rd Level Android Warrior" to any dungeon generator, you're getting legit, broh. Hold on I'll generate you a cool 10-room dungeon to while away your hours while you listen to these phat tracks, yo.

10 GENERATE DUNGEON

20 INPUT "WHAT DO YOU WISH TO DO NOW?";A$

30 GOTO 10

FREE DUNGEON: THE CRYSTAL OF THE LONELY ANDROID

n.b. map not included but check out Dyson's patreon or #DIY

(interesting side note: this is unedited produced by my Tablesmith file)

the subtypes are additional modifiers to creatures to weird out players and keep them on their toes

1. 7 Stirges subtype Crystal guard Potion of Invulnerability and Cigarette Lighter Functions on 1-4 in 20. The treasure is in aluminum gear crates.

2. This room has a weapon racks that contain 3 ancient mono-scimitars.

3. A matter replicator device, containing antique coins worth 1685 GP . The treasure is loose and safeguarded with spears released from walls when container opened.

4. The room contains Janni subtype Ghoul and a thick spiderwebs.

5. The room contains Ogre subtype Flesh and a Poisoned Arrow Trap. The party sustains d20+5 attacks that do 1d6 damage and a random DC 15 poison.

6. The room contains 1 Drow Elves subtype Frost and a Radiation Field Projector, forcing a DC 14 Constitution save or victim gains random major corruption.

7. This small room includes a Robodoc terminal.

8. A Nanoalchemicobot Infestation will turn all metal items to powdery rust keeps the 1410 GP safeguarded.

9. 1 Androids guard antique coins worth 1773 GP . The treasure is scattered on the floor.

10. There is a force field that constrains Seven-Headed Hydra (Pyro- Or Cryo-) here.

Starcrossed Friends of Pocket Monstering Islands

On a lark, I crossed my Stardew Valley Pet and Darkest Copperfield Dungeon Name generator with my list of "tragic gothic personality quirks" and Pokemon/Animal Crossing types and so, here you go. Abominations to the very last. I think the stats are in B/X order... that being STR, INT, WIS, DEX, CON, CHA as we used to do in the dim and ancient days. But you do you. I really liked the way the Stardew Valley name generator turned out and never found a chance to put it to good use. I even tried to steal the actual stardew valley code for a bit but lost interest

Maybe I'll pick a couple of these and draw them up for yinz or you could youse this like I did. there's a literal infinite combinations of these hellspawn awaitin' in the guts of my laptop

It goes: Name (obv Stardew, Darkest Dungeon, David Copperfield styles),stats (4d4 iirc because hey they are cute animals), Pokemon type (extended list I got from somewheres), Animal Crossing Animal (not exclusively), ACNH Personality Type, Quirk

"PLEASE END MY MISERY I AM UNCLEAN IN THE EYES OF GOD"

YOUR NEW BESTIE RANDO STARCROSSED FRIEND

Isidore Inkleenthorpe,7,12,7,9,8,13,Void,Dog,Cranky,Belongs to a heretical sect or religion

Hendry,7,9,12,11,11,12,Psychic,Cat,Jock,Low-voiced

Doba,7,10,10,8,5,11,Fairy,Rhino,Lazy,Gangly physique

Tirel,9,10,10,8,10,10,Crystal,Eagle,Jock,Corrects people when they use colloquial speech

Becdelièvre,11,13,9,13,10,9,Fission,Penguin,Big Brother or Sister,Is a compulsive gambler with heavy debts

Timidge,7,7,11,11,11,11,Vacuum,Chicken,Cranky,Deep-voiced

Musard,7,8,15,13,12,14,Dark,Monkey,Snooty,Twirls or Pulls or Plays with own hair often

Tolliver Snarflethwaite,12,10,11,13,4,10,Cluster,Hippo,Lazy,Is formal noble turned servant

Pertbi,14,10,9,12,7,8,Fusion,Wolf,Peppy,Becomes depressed unless given a steady stream of positive feedback

Guideville,13,13,8,8,11,12,Holy,Octopus,Big Brother or Sister,Was injured in combat and is a eunuch because of it

Hugonin,8,8,13,10,9,10,Rain,Mouse,Smug,Is a bastard of a prince

Timchers,6,9,10,13,5,10,Gory,Wolf,Big Brother or Sister,Shallow

Eveny Curfleby,13,8,5,9,13,12,Fission,Hippo,Jock,Is naive

Kilbi,12,13,11,7,13,10,Water,Ostrich,Cranky,Pale-skinned

Buymede,9,10,9,12,9,10,Crystal,Chicken,Jock,Is fickle

Mercier,5,10,12,8,9,10,Magma,Duck,Snooty,Is impoverished

Dookins,12,9,10,11,7,11,Rain,Chicken,Jock,Fatalistic

Vernold,11,11,4,8,12,11,Electric,Hippo,Smug,Plays the piano compulsively

Mesnage,11,8,16,11,10,6,Pure,Mouse,Hallucinatory Insanity,Likes music

Kulard,11,9,10,9,10,10,Flying,Octopus,Lazy,Firmly believes the lunar landing was faked on a North Dakota prairie

Pida,9,11,10,11,10,9,Fighting,Anteater,Cranky,Chatty

Bot,13,8,13,7,10,7,Fire,Octopus,Peppy,Jaundiced

Senarpont,11,8,10,8,9,10,Medic,Chicken,Peppy,Is without a family

Roger,11,11,7,12,12,11,Iron,Hippo,Snooty,Lovesick

Herbert Beckwith,6,13,8,12,8,8,Fungus,Ostrich,Peppy,Dark-skinned

Gueron,10,8,6,12,9,11,Gory,Bird,Jock,Is disgusted by the look of live fish, yet can eat cooked fish or sushi

Pertybert,9,11,14,14,7,9,Ground,Squirrel,Snooty,Lonely

Pister,13,11,11,11,13,13,Normal,Rhino,Hallucinatory Insanity,Black-haired

Faintree,7,11,12,10,7,14,Flying,hound,Manic Despression,Strongly dislikes the sound of chewing and hums a quiet song while eating

L'ile,11,10,12,7,12,10,Plasma,Monkey,Cranky,Sallow

Deency,12,12,14,11,8,7,Fairy,Bird,Peppy,Patronizing

Druel,9,10,10,7,7,12,Grass,Squirrel,Big Brother or Sister,Has escaped from the asylum

Paschal,11,8,13,11,9,10,Mana,Frog,Big Brother or Sister,School Bus Yellow (Yellow)-eyed

Durerie,15,13,12,11,9,10,Rock,Squirrel,Snooty,Forbidding

Clara Twitchitch,9,5,11,13,9,10,Cluster,Frog,Snooty,Gravel-voiced

Bibotchers,11,5,9,8,10,12,Grass,Bird,Smug,Frustrated

Gael,11,12,13,12,10,12,Glass,Monkey,Cranky,Is a vampire

Vane,13,13,9,13,15,10,Void,Gorilla,Lazy,Is overfed

Puduridge,10,14,9,13,6,9,Magic,Bear,Lazy,Fleshy physique

Kukin,9,5,13,10,9,10,Gory,Eagle,Cranky,Masked

Boneth,13,12,11,9,8,12,Vacuum,Bull,Peppy,Fashionable

Nelly Quiderny,8,9,10,8,11,14,Steel,Lion,Smug,Sanguine

Joss Jaggoiss,7,10,12,10,9,8,Wind,Cub,Megalomania,Gangly physique

Thibault,9,11,10,5,11,12,Mana,Cub,Weirdo,Is of noble blood but not noble heir

Juson,13,8,13,7,10,9,Dark,Mouse,Cranky,Xanadu (Grey)-eyed

Conard,9,13,9,13,10,13,Stone,Goat,Snooty,Elongated

Dootte,11,6,12,14,8,10,Fairy,Wolf,Jock,Practically gives money away, knowing it will come back manyfold

Libi,10,7,12,9,10,14,Positive,Tiger,Peppy,Long

Mustel,12,11,8,11,9,12,Dragon,Lion,Cranky,Is a hermaphrodite

Maunsell,7,6,11,10,11,11,Sound,Horse,Snooty,Goes barefoot whenever possible